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Written on Tuesday, March 24, 2009 @ 9:34 AM
Okay, I'm sorry I didn't post my 'later' the other day.
Let's share feelings now.
I am trying very hard, very, very hard to gather all my guts and tell him the truth. So I think that I should do it now (:
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Things have change now. I don't feel it anymore. It's not only about you or me. It's about us. It's not what it is used to be.
You say you love me, then go around telling others you don't. Then when I meet you, its like you didn't tell them anything. Even they are confused. You don't know how it makes me look. Or feel. Your twisting our story behind my back & that's not okay. Really. All these while, I forced myself to not think so negatively about you.
But hey, look at what just happened.
I was fucking loyal & I thought you were too. I closed one eye when I found out what happened between you & Lia. I fucking trusted you more than I trusted her. When I found out you were actually at fault, I still forced myself to be patient. That shows how much I love you.
Recently, I asked you about how you feel. Remember what you said? All those words, they are just empty words. I thought you were the one. The one whose different from the others. But you proved me wrong. Thanks for pretending. Pretending that you cared for me. Thanks for showering me with lovely words. Too bad they're just words that makes someone feel good just for a short period.
So, let me officially end everything right here. Goodbye.
With love,
Illa Syakilah
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Dearest Hakeem,
I received the message you sent the other day. Good that you realised I have been trying to avoid you & I will still be avoiding you.
What you sent was really sweet. But guess what, baby? You missed the chance. For a guy like you, you don't deserve to be given anymore chances. Why? Because the same thing will happen again & again.
I'm really tired of it. Even if you try making it more convincing, I don't think I can give you the chance. Lets see, how many times did we break up and patched up again? Countless of times! And it's always the same reason. In our relationship, its always my fault. Never yours.
I was then stupid to still believe that we can pull through. It's always another girl that is better than me when I am with you. Always.
You kissed another girl behind my back. What the fucking hell were our tryna do?! Why didn't you just leave me alone & never come back into my life again?! Oh, I forgot. You said you were still immature.
Dearest, I am 14 going on 15. Now let me ask you, are you tryna say that I was mature then? Fuck you! I know you too well man. Too well. These are all stupid reasons.
You even accused me. You said I played with your heart. First with Aidil. Then, Syazwan. What the hell? You hanged out with tons of girls & I kept quiet. Even when I didn't, I don't think you'd accept the fact that you were playing with my heart behing my back. Why!? Because you're always the right one.
Damn it man. You think imma flirt? Like you? Please, I dont go for my ex's bestfriend for god's sake! I am not desperate. You ask Aidil now, have I ever in my life, be his girlfriend before. Ask him.
You said I played with your heart and I didn't tell you I was in a relationship with Syazwan when I am contacting you again. For you information, it was after I contacted you when I got into a relationship with him. That's not called playing with your heart. Because I remember saying, "Make your decisions wisely, just go for Liyana."
You were the one whose playing with a girl's heart! You were with Liyana when you contacted me. Then, its always my name which came out of your mouth when you broke up with them. Don't you think that they will hate me? For stealing you, when I'm not.
Forget it. I am too lazy to list out your every bad deeds. But I really learn a lot from our relationship.
Yours truly,
Illa Syakilah
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Dear Hafiz,
I am sorry I didn't come to your pit. But that's not the reason why I am writing this.
Lately, you have been controlling me too much. And let me tell you one thing, I hate guys who control me too much. Every second, you messaged me. Its too obvious that you are trying to get me. Despite my status(attached).
I thought I told you we can only be friends. No more, no less. There are limits. You know that.
I was surprisingly stunned to receive a message from you saying, "When are we gonna meet again? I really missed you. Everyday, I feel that I love you more & more. I miss you too much, meet up soon."
What the hell were you tryna do man? If your tryna deny that you said that, for your information, it's still in my inbox.
I really don't think that I wanna be with you. I am sorry. Truth is bitter but you don't wanna be happy living in a lie, right? And to find out that I was fooling you and then, you'd be more hurt.
There's nothing special about us. Really. I don't feel it. Maybe, I'm not the one. But don't give up, aye. Don't be emo. That sucks. Dude, theres others chicks out there waiting for you. I know you know that. You just have to move on to meet these chicks.
I know I told you that more than once, but it's just to lift up your semangat. Keep smiling.
Yours truly,
Illa Syakilah
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That's it. I'm done confessing. Honestly, I am so relieved right now. I really don't wanna get into any relationships right now. Being single, is always the best. Heh. Love ya, peeps. (:
(p/s. i'm not in school. i am going to the doctor soon. nyeahaha [=<) Labels: boysboysboys.
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Written on Tuesday, March 24, 2009 @ 9:34 AM
Okay, I'm sorry I didn't post my 'later' the other day.
Let's share feelings now.
I am trying very hard, very, very hard to gather all my guts and tell him the truth. So I think that I should do it now (:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Things have change now. I don't feel it anymore. It's not only about you or me. It's about us. It's not what it is used to be.
You say you love me, then go around telling others you don't. Then when I meet you, its like you didn't tell them anything. Even they are confused. You don't know how it makes me look. Or feel. Your twisting our story behind my back & that's not okay. Really. All these while, I forced myself to not think so negatively about you.
But hey, look at what just happened.
I was fucking loyal & I thought you were too. I closed one eye when I found out what happened between you & Lia. I fucking trusted you more than I trusted her. When I found out you were actually at fault, I still forced myself to be patient. That shows how much I love you.
Recently, I asked you about how you feel. Remember what you said? All those words, they are just empty words. I thought you were the one. The one whose different from the others. But you proved me wrong. Thanks for pretending. Pretending that you cared for me. Thanks for showering me with lovely words. Too bad they're just words that makes someone feel good just for a short period.
So, let me officially end everything right here. Goodbye.
With love,
Illa Syakilah
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dearest Hakeem,
I received the message you sent the other day. Good that you realised I have been trying to avoid you & I will still be avoiding you.
What you sent was really sweet. But guess what, baby? You missed the chance. For a guy like you, you don't deserve to be given anymore chances. Why? Because the same thing will happen again & again.
I'm really tired of it. Even if you try making it more convincing, I don't think I can give you the chance. Lets see, how many times did we break up and patched up again? Countless of times! And it's always the same reason. In our relationship, its always my fault. Never yours.
I was then stupid to still believe that we can pull through. It's always another girl that is better than me when I am with you. Always.
You kissed another girl behind my back. What the fucking hell were our tryna do?! Why didn't you just leave me alone & never come back into my life again?! Oh, I forgot. You said you were still immature.
Dearest, I am 14 going on 15. Now let me ask you, are you tryna say that I was mature then? Fuck you! I know you too well man. Too well. These are all stupid reasons.
You even accused me. You said I played with your heart. First with Aidil. Then, Syazwan. What the hell? You hanged out with tons of girls & I kept quiet. Even when I didn't, I don't think you'd accept the fact that you were playing with my heart behing my back. Why!? Because you're always the right one.
Damn it man. You think imma flirt? Like you? Please, I dont go for my ex's bestfriend for god's sake! I am not desperate. You ask Aidil now, have I ever in my life, be his girlfriend before. Ask him.
You said I played with your heart and I didn't tell you I was in a relationship with Syazwan when I am contacting you again. For you information, it was after I contacted you when I got into a relationship with him. That's not called playing with your heart. Because I remember saying, "Make your decisions wisely, just go for Liyana."
You were the one whose playing with a girl's heart! You were with Liyana when you contacted me. Then, its always my name which came out of your mouth when you broke up with them. Don't you think that they will hate me? For stealing you, when I'm not.
Forget it. I am too lazy to list out your every bad deeds. But I really learn a lot from our relationship.
Yours truly,
Illa Syakilah
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Hafiz,
I am sorry I didn't come to your pit. But that's not the reason why I am writing this.
Lately, you have been controlling me too much. And let me tell you one thing, I hate guys who control me too much. Every second, you messaged me. Its too obvious that you are trying to get me. Despite my status(attached).
I thought I told you we can only be friends. No more, no less. There are limits. You know that.
I was surprisingly stunned to receive a message from you saying, "When are we gonna meet again? I really missed you. Everyday, I feel that I love you more & more. I miss you too much, meet up soon."
What the hell were you tryna do man? If your tryna deny that you said that, for your information, it's still in my inbox.
I really don't think that I wanna be with you. I am sorry. Truth is bitter but you don't wanna be happy living in a lie, right? And to find out that I was fooling you and then, you'd be more hurt.
There's nothing special about us. Really. I don't feel it. Maybe, I'm not the one. But don't give up, aye. Don't be emo. That sucks. Dude, theres others chicks out there waiting for you. I know you know that. You just have to move on to meet these chicks.
I know I told you that more than once, but it's just to lift up your semangat. Keep smiling.
Yours truly,
Illa Syakilah
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's it. I'm done confessing. Honestly, I am so relieved right now. I really don't wanna get into any relationships right now. Being single, is always the best. Heh. Love ya, peeps. (:
(p/s. i'm not in school. i am going to the doctor soon. nyeahaha [=<) Labels: boysboysboys.
|
In random order.
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Hello human beings. My name is Illa Syakilah and I am not a terrorist.
Hehe. I can't seem to get over that quote since I watched the movie "My name is Khan."
I am coming sixteen this July 25 and I'm seriously not excited.
I'll be sitting for my GCE N Levels this year, and hopefully (very little chance, though) I'll qualify for Sec 5.
Maybe for now, you'll have fun teasing me but keep in mind that everyone has limits. And don't ever think of going over mine.
I am single and I don't wish to be unavailable because I believe that love comes naturally when it's the right time.
Honestly, since the last time I ever got into a relationship, I realised that I'm kinda lethargic when it comes to love but whatever.
The right one will fall not only for my perfection but also my flaws, right? Yeah :D
My interest lies in Performing Arts. I have been dancing for close to 10 years and damn it, I want to learn more!
When I'm feeling down or high, this is basically what I'd do. Just that when I'm down, I don't do it in public.
I dance for Purbanira Seni (my school Malay Dance troupe) and Sri Warisan Som Said Performing Arts Ltd.
I'm not a professional YET. But one day, I'll be an awesome one. Yes ah! I have yet to cover contemporary and such. Heh.
I get dance routines from boredom or imagination. I'd literally think of steps in my head and when I'm done, I'd work it out with my body.
Sometimes, I'd dance randomly and I'll get steps. Basically, I love everything that has got to do with Performing Arts.
I miss Indian dancing when I was in Kindergarten. Oh, that makes it 11 years of dancing! Hehe.
I'm not shy to say that my favorite place that has ever existed is.. my bed. I'm not the only one right?
I love to hang out but this year, I kinda find it hard to even make time for my friends! I love Glee. It's so cool.
My favorite boyfriend is Percy Jackson AKA Logan Lerman. Yes! I love him. Haha. Justin Bieber, his voice makes me melt.
Megan Fox, Beyonce, Kara Dioguardi, Kelly Clarkson, Nicole Scherzinger, Jojo, Selena Gomez, Katy Perry, Jessica Alba & more. These are the people who never fail to make me love them.
Thank you for bothering to read, if you actually did, that is.
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Hah
Short and Sweet Post Much? Haha.
What to doo..
something missing .. guess it.
Random ~
FIRST TIME SIA I SETIA GILE BABS
Happy I Love You Day Kids!
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FANS? o.0
Baby B, I miss you!
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