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Written on Tuesday, March 25, 2008 @ 4:37 PM
look, i know what your gonna say when i tell u this .. i kindda fought with hakeem again . i guess . really . i had no idea he was talking to me . i really thought he was talking to nab . so, i listened to songs & pretend im not hearing . because that would be going against people's private talk . who knows .. they were sweet-talking to each other . looooook, im really sorry hakeem . forgive me ? i wont do that again . im serious . ugh . illa's such a dumbass .
ok, today, i found out that hakeem actually created a new blog for his special one . idk who . because he said it wasn't nab . so, yeah . he ain't gonna tell me . & i ain't gonna ask him again . it would be very annoying . yep . he just said that he was gonna delete his current blog because he have created a new blog . again, for his special one .
me, hakeem & nab was chatting on the phone . then, firdaus came in . firdaus is nab's brother . he was having some itsy-bitsy trouble with his girlfriend . so, he wanted to break up . & yeah, i feel so bad . because firdaus actually wants to know me more . he said that he is hoping to get me after the break up . maybe, he even told plans to hakeem . idk when we're meeting . but i got this feeling that it wouldn't be nice . idk why .
hakeem sort of talked about me to nab . nab congratulated me because i successfully & unintentionally caught her brother's heart . guess what ? idk what sch his from, whats his age, when's his birthday, used to not know his name (until today) & his number . but guess what ? he knows all these basic stuffs about me . yeah . amazing huh ? u know why ? he asked me . of course . but i didn't know he was actually trying to be with me . shocking huh ? i accidentally made my ex's(hakeem's) girlfriend's(nab's) big brother(firdaus) liked me . hakeem said to nab that i have a lot of what they call, fans . so, not ! he told nab the reason why me & him broke up . aidil . & he told nab that when he stead with me, aidil liked-liked me . u know what ? i feel that nab will think ima playgirl . which im not . & hates to be call by that . sometimes, i can just shout at one person, " i am not a playgirl ! " just to stop them calling me a playgirl . what's so fun about being one ? ugh . typical people .
& on the other hand, im still deciding on whether to accept khairul or this new guy u people dont know or my other ex . & despite all that, im still stucked in a disease called, Love Lunancy . Love Lunancy is like liking/loving/craving for someone whose unavailable & attached . yep . thats my problem . but no, he's not hakeem . if it is, i'll tell him . yeahh . can i just for once have someone i loved or liked or craved for to be my one & only ? its always someone unexpected who will turn up & "propose" to u, in a teenage way .
whoever who have experienced this .. please help me . & whoever who is going through this .. welcome to my world .
with love,
Illa SyakilahLabels: done
Written on Friday, March 21, 2008 @ 9:21 AM
lifes plain bored . isn't it ? nazrah's got aidil . hakeem's got nabihah . & here i am stucked in
between . all of them are the best . seriously . but one major problem here is that, i keep having
trouble with hakeem . especially since he's got nabihah . & yes, i don't have any problems with
their relationship okaaay ! i swear . its just that, he keeps on scolding me . maybe to him im a big
problem . & maybe to me, idk . its like, ugh . what should i do ?
if he really wants me to walk out & back off, i can . for his relationships' sake . he could just tell
me straight that he dont wanna have anything to do with me . no need to find a very small
problem & make it big ! i dont wanna fight with hakeem . & now, he's like scolding me . then,
when are we gonna stop fighting for heavens' sake ?! omg . only Allah knows . even if he dislikes
me, maybe . he should just back off & ignore me dont u think ? ugh . tell u what .. i love hakeem, i
love nazrah, i love aidil, i love noura & i love yanti . alot ! i can swear ! okaaaay ? u are all like the
best !
if i ever fight with any of u .. i think that would be hurting enough . i wont go over it . because u
are all my outside-family-loved-ones . before & after i was with hakeem, i really didn't know how
to tell him i dont wanna fight . until now . i have been thinking of a solution to this problem . but
this problem doesnt seem to have any ! & noura .. its the same thing . now, we are happy . later,
what else ? another fight . i can't stand fights . i am not strong . i am not a strong girl . i may be
hyper, cheerful, happy-go-lucky in the outside . but seriously, never in the inside . people say ..
emo shit, emo sucks, emo fcuk . well, i have ever said that to people . but guys, i dont mean it ! it
was meant to be a joke . if u see, each and every human beings ( even animals ) they have a little
emo-ness in them . then, if they dont .. why can they feel sad ? why can they feel lost, hurt,
angry, depress, lonely ? how ? why ? isnt that emotionals ? & why people do emoticons ? isnt
there the word EMO there ? i find this super not logic ! i have said what i wanted to say to hakeem & noura .
so far, i have not fought with aidil . & i am not waiting for the moment to come . i hope it wont .
please . i just finished "fighting" with hakeem last few days . & now, it happened again . how
idiotic is that ? i mean, not him . but me . why must people always feel that im a troubled girl ? as
in .. i am always the trouble . he said lepaskan .. lepaskan what ? the problem or our friendship ?
only some people know my feelings . soome people . i know hakeem is also hurt . but do u think
he should have go on when i said suke hati & stop it ? i think he should . i really wanted to calm
him down . but, dont know how . nnti nabihah pikir aku flirt pulak . lagi big problem . if it is
possible, which i think it is .. i want them to have an everlasting relationship . same to nazrah &
aidil . if one by one, each day i lose hope or maybe them .. i think im useless in these world . we
are not meant to be strangers . we are meant to be friends . thats why i hate anti-socials . if i
can, i would socialise with each & everyone . im out of words . even crying wont help . i
dont know why tears are made . they are useless . idk why i cried over such things .
 ♥Labels: aku love korang
Written on Tuesday, March 18, 2008 @ 9:18 AM
hello . second post for the day . yepyep . today, school was okaay . noura talked to me . i talked to her . then, she tried to sort things out . & it worked . good job . & guess what ? sooner or later, i predict, me & noura are gonna fight again . nak bet ? heheh .
so yeahh . after sch .. ashiqin got a call from aidil . pikir ape . nak ckp ngn MRS NAMITO kesayangan dher tuu, nazrah (: then, he wanted to meet . nazrah actually couldn't make it . but, me, being the nice one ( ok illa, jgn prasan ) said, " nehmyne laa . just meet . we do project there . " she was like yeay illa ! whhe ~
aidil kept on asking on where to meet . he was at tamp library . so i told him, " cross the road, take bus 28 . meet at east spring . " cheyy . dorang nak jumpe aku yg settle tempat . hahha . then when we saw aidil coming down from the bus . with his friend, muz or mus or idk . ugh . nazrah became so shy she don't wanna go there . omg . guess what ? she brought noura & yan along . noura was as usual, acting childishly . aidil told us that she sound so budak kecik . ahha . yeah . so, after sending us ( me & nazrah ) to the bus stop, noura & yan went off . aidil was being annoyong . calling me emo & stuffs .
i was really annoyed i blurted out some things i was not suppose to say . u see, aidil was an ex admirer of mine . so, me & him, we now each other longer than he & nazrah . i was like, " rather than that someone . admits he's an emo . go to school wear eyeliner " hah . terdiam kau aidil ! first time dgr aku kurang ajar kan ? hahha . he was shy . thats why he didn't admit it .
nazrah called me a minah =.= hah . then, aidil thought she bastard me . hah ! aidil aidil . kau ehh . hahah . we walked to my house to put my bag down . down i carried aliyah out & said to aidil, " nii anak nazrah " he thought i wanted to bring aliyah along . omg . tkya suda . susahkan diri je . heheh . but she's adorable . ilovealiyah .
then, we went to nazrah's hse for her to change into PE attire . cause she was shy . her skirt was big & long . her mom disallowed her to use short skirts . then, when nazrah was changing . i went out of her hse to check out on the guys . i told aidil to wait . then he called me down . i said, " nak bobal, naik . tpi, sorang " because i know smth was going on .
he said, " nazrah isap rokok ? " so, i said no . i mean, its true . she dont . then he ask me, " kau ? " no ok ! then he said, " kawan aku pat bawah nak knal knal ngn kau . " so i was like . no way . don't even dream . that guy, aidil's friend, who liked me, serious talking uh . he won't get me . sorry man, but ive got standards . heh . jual mahal pulak . haha . so aidil was like, asal ? i said i just dont want . then he said, everybody, READ, he said .. " MASIH SUKEKAN HAKEEM EH ? "
omg . what makes him say that ? i smiled and said no .
we went to lepak at north park, near to mine & nazrah's . then, we talked & talked . mus or muz was so annoying . kept on asking if he & me can .. u know . i wanted to say, " eh ! please eh . stop it . jgn tk tau malu uh . " mcm je . but, its very hurtful to tell that someone on the spot, for my case . aidil talked to me . he said, " laa . blang dher uh u dont like him . " i was like, NO ! then i say, " its not easy u know . " then he said, " it is " then i say, " did i tell u i dont want u so easily ? " he said, yaa . i said, " NO . it took time for me to think whether to take u or not ! " oops ! did i just say that ? cause he, after hearing that from my mouth, face to face kept quiet . i feel so sorry . i just dont want ur friend . really .
but still, he really wanted me to BE WITH that guy as a friend . aku tknk ! im arrogant . got problem ? i don't want to have anything to do with that guy ! he said, " if u never go to him, i'll make him come here . & i will hold ur hand tightly so u won't run . " he failed many times . i mean, grabbing my hand to stop me from running away . tk dpt uhh ! still, he succeeded . he grabbed my hand . i was trying to make him let go . we did some " dancing around, some twisting & turning . im sorry nazrah . if u saw it .. dont be jealous . i was just trying make him let go . & he terpakse hugged me because i was about to escape . so yeah . im really sorry . (: sorry ok ?
di situ, heheh . there, nazrah & muz or mus was so quiet . yg kecoh .. illa & aidil . oh biase . illa memang kecoh . tpi, tk sangke aidil bergitu kecoh . hah . first time meet . first impression . i dont need to attract anyone . so, i thought, i acted it all out . the first time he hear me shout, the first pinch and back-slapping he got from me, the first shitty stuffs he saw me doing . hahha . i've never done that to anyone but my family ! cooooool . bad bad impression illa ! hahha . eleh .. tpi, aidil was not at all different . bising nak mampos ! tsk . oh yeah, aidil also asked me if i was still with hakeem . because after the break up, he said hakeem told him, me & him patched again . damn ! im confused . his face was super serious . when he said hakeem & me patched . but, i quite didn't believe . of course . because after the second break up .. we never patch up again . but, still in contact . yeay ! but, now, we so called fight . because i hanged on hakeem . oh, im sorry .
yeah, i left them . i went back home & saw kakak, her bf, zhar & friends, khairiya & friends trying to sort things out . but, i was a bit blur i didn't saw them . i mean the faces . was quite blurish . they were all looking at me . not knowing it was them, i was a bit nervous . turned back because azhar called me . but stil didn't know it was him i turned back . then, i looked behind again & saw NAMITOS following . so, i went to them & walked with them . yeah .
i got to know it was my sister when she came back . from 5 plus till now . aidil & nazrah haven't went back . nazrah's mom sort of know about things when i called her . tsk . nazrah nazrah . ape je korang buat . alaa .. nazrah wont do anymore . i trust her . tpi, mane je korang pegi . aku tau responsible . tsk . balik cpat !
HAKEEM, IM SORRY Labels: yeaa
8:12 AM
dear noura,
yes, i also have told others that nth will do us apart . but mine is, " alaa . kite bestfriends . sampai mati pun takkan berpisah punye ! " i rmbr telling that to someone . i just forget who .
if i hate ur comments, i talk to u nicely ? well, i've done that tons of times . all i hear is u & ur " by right kan .. " thingy . that got me irritated that i gave up on telling things to u . u see .. having a cucu rasulullah as a friend, a bestfriend is hard to be with . i mean, hard to get & hard to handle (: they can be VERY "over-mature" . really, im stating a fact here .
well, i have to admit that i miss those times . in POD we dance around like monkeys . ohh, that is the best ! & to tell u the truth, ok wait . do u rmbr our last fun ? the time when we played the childish hand game with shaffy ? if u do, when i went home with naz, i cried . luckily she didn't realise . she would be very noisy . with the " jgn nangis baby ", " illa, relax uh " etc . etc . i really thought that woould be the last because i "had enough of ur too islamic stuffs " . im sorry .
what stuffs ? ok, lemme tell u .. since i know u, i have stopped all the STUFFS usually couples do . e.g. snogging . well, before that i already stop laa . but, i kindda ALMOST start it back . then, the hero came . you =.= hehs . kidding . like u said ..
Let's just recall what we've been doing during the past year.
Nicknaming, Imitating, laugh till you drop, late night phone calls till 5; prank calling, outings, arguing, almost dieing , getting into trouble, making up games, gossiping, telling each other secrets that we wouldn't tell anyone else, 3G-ing, making up words, making fun of others, butt/face/ smacking, u grab I slap[okay i got confused?] , farting? , taking pictures, getting high with yanti, horny stuff, like far distance jolok :/, bertawaf for hours, cabot, working together in grps, praying at the mosque, doa-ing in the mosque, praised by some holy women, getting each other into trouble, driving each other maddd, so called illegal stuff? , buy each other things, standing up for each other, Consoling each other, kissing, making fun of each other :o, sms each others mum selamat hari raya, which was your idea :), not fasting and then go into each others room to eat :O, influencing good roles, lying, getting close to teachers (cikgu sab, miss rafiqqa,) , acting sick, dramamama-ing, do stewpid stuff w/o a care in the world of what people would think and the best of all, best friending. heh . copy & paste (:
BUT FARTING MANE ADE ?!!? ASAL BLEY KENTOT JE .
I think i forgot what i wanna say . heh .Labels: no labels .
Written on Friday, March 14, 2008 @ 4:14 PM
tell me, how hard can life be ? with people u love avoiding or even accusing u ? its just so depressing . thats all i can say . each time i wake up, hoping for a new, happy day, it turns out to be otherwise .
i still can't believe my friends actually thought i flirt with their boyfriends . and even brothers !? oh hell . i have my pride & dignity . i am no desporadoes, ok ? but, if u still think i did flirt with ur lovely ex-hunkies, i am really sorry my beloved friends . i wasn't trying to flirt . but, to be honest, i don't know any of ur exs . or even ur current boyfriend . except for nazrah's & ashiqin's . happens to be my friend, too . hah .
to nazrah, before u get the wrong idea .. i have never flirted with him before . but, sadly, he did . because he liked me before knowing u . so yeah . last long .
to ashiqin .. amirul, is none of my business . & yeah . he called me because he was curious why he couldnt get u .
& to my beloved ex, hakeem .. last long laa . dgn nabihahaha . sorry u, tak menghina . cume ikot ikot :D heheh . & if u ever think i am jealous . NO . N-O, NO . nak jealous buat ape ? u sendirik kate dulu, move on . i am (: heehs . hakeem kentot bau taik .
to yanti's or whoever's abang .. i don't know u . & i have never flirt with u . yanti's abang .. i don't even know ur name . & i only met u for like twice or thrice !? if u think i flirt with abang ridwan (abg wan) .. certainly not ! he's my abg . why would i flirt with him !!??
look, im sorry everyone . but, this is all not a misunderstanding . totally not !
i cried until my eyes went red just now . now, my family accuse me of stealing . wtf ? i already suspect who stole the money . but, i will just keep it to myself to save myself from any more problems . not a single soul will know who .Labels: keeping my own secret (x
11:03 AM
What She (kakak) Said To Me Illa, think through while reading this, ok. No matter, how much i say Khairiya flirt. Khairiya this, Khairiya that. We don't make a big fuss out of it. I told her indirectly before. But she, chose to not take it to the heart. So, whatever with what's happening now ok? Both u and Noura, are friends. And, there's no such thing of EX-BESTFRIENDS. That is so PRIMARY SCHOOL. So, now. I'm asking u, to welcome SECONDARY SCHOOL. No more arguing over cods anymore. Please? U want a real problem? Wait till u become older. Like i've said to Noura. It doesn't matter if u have any problems. It's not supposed to effect school life. U have to enjoy school life, bcos. When u get older, working life will not be enjoyable as school life. Plus, treasure the friendship that u have built. With anybody. Problems are not reasons why u do this, u do that. It's an excuse. Now, try to recap. Remember when we, used to fight bcos of Noura? It is indeed not good for both of us. But, have u realised, why u did that? Well, in my point of view. It's bcos Noura made an impact in ur life. And, do u remember, me telling u about me and Khairiya arguing? It's not nice, even though it was barely a day. Don't tell me, u want to make this beautiful friendship of urs, bear fruits. And then, u let it rot. Instead of plucking them and let them have more room to grow new ones. It's not nice to see, rotten fruits right? Same goes to friendship. It's not nice to see a once beautiful friendship, burn into ashes. Illa, u fight for Noura. And, Noura helps u too. To change ur mindset. Into a better person. Count urself lucky. Bcos, u have a friend that wants to lessen ur sins. For people who don't have a friend like her? They'll burn in hell, i tell u. However, i just can't deny that she have a wrong way in approaching it. And of course, that she'll think that whatever she's doing is right. If u were her, u'll have the same thinking right? Now, reminisce. What have both u and Noura gone through together. She, being hated by our family. U, being hated by her family. Both of u are so matching. And, i feel proudless to say that i haven't faced that kind of challenge before. Even with Khairiya. So, be proud to say that both of u have been through thick and thin. Noura have her ways, and u have urs. Both of u, have to accept that. Not everybody are the same. Ingat, 'rambut sama hitam, hati lain-lain'. And, Noura isn't giving a sucky attitude, neither are u. Bcos, both of u have to be honest, to make things better. This, is the chance to improve on ur friendship. Not let it go dow the drain. What's the point of building it up then? Just remember, family is important. Although, i've said that friends are not important. I didn't mean it. Friends are important. They sometimes gives the greatest advice. But, u make the decision. And please, make sure u make the right decision. Save this friendship, it's not too late. Nothing is too late in this world. Present world. Ok? Both of u, are 'sisters'. And like me and u, even the great wall of china can't do us apart. Just think all of this through. I may not like Noura. But, to make it an excuse, to tear ur friendship apart, isn't the best i can do for my sister. I want her, to experience the ups and downs of life, with someone she will be comfortable with. And guide her on the right path, through it. Solve this, girls. THANK YOU, KAKAK . I HOPE SHE REALISE . Labels: done
Written on Thursday, March 13, 2008 @ 4:54 PM
yaa . i think theres nothing left to say . all my answers have been said by kakak . thanks ehh . ur the best . & tell ur friends, i appreciate their help . ima flirt . i flirt with guys . when they didn't even know im tryna' tell them to stop disturbing me . i don't run to guys . they are just despos . i flirt with ur abangs . who ? yanti's abang ? not even once . i flirt with their matair . who ? tell them to talk to me . & i'll show the meaning of FLIRT . u want flirty me ? fine with me . ask them to bring all the guys that they think i have flirt with before . i'll tell them what i've done . what i've help . im trying to save their fcuking relationship . im trying to save them from being hurt . if this person ur referring to is ashiqin .. yaa . i flirt with the guys she like . i flirt with them by talking . whoa . sucha flirt seyy illa . just by talking tau .
illa vogue uh . bobal tros orang terpikat . tak jealous ke ? dher nak pki tudong lagyyk . sape ehh nak replace illa ? confirm shiok . illa illa . rabak .
oh . meet up eh ? kite bobal care baik . Labels: this is for u
10:35 AM
well, i find it easier to reply her here . so, READ .
noura .. first of all . ur not a burden . seriously . it just annoys people when u start saying all those stuff . da mcm terrorists tau tak ? u may be wondering why u get answers like these . well, u've got the answer . why ask ? its just that . u look at people more than u look at urself . sometimes i think that ur teaching others but not urself . i know, u'll deny . but think . u think they're siding u .. they as in our friends . they just dont wanna hurt u .
the reason why i became so mean is because .. if im not gonna be straight forward then, who else ? our friends aint that straight forward dont u think ? i became mean because of them .. well, yes . i've been complaining about u to them A LOT . they say .. confront her laa confront her . fyi, i have tried that a lot of times . takkan pasal lelaki kau nak attitude ni macam ? i dont wanna say what they say about u . it'll just hurt u . all i know is that, most of them think the same way i think about u .
well yeah, as a friend, u said u've been patient . but, HELL NO . ur not being patient . are u tryna' say that we will be friends only till sec 5 ? fine, u want it . u'll get it . all i wanna say now is that, treasure and bear this moment a lot . because ur gonna get the worst of me sooner or later .
i will show u all my colours if u want . this is just the beggining . but im not tryna say im bad . its just u dont know me well enough . sometimes i think adie knows me better . now, why did i say ur not patient enough ? u said .. SHE DOESN'T SEEM TO REALISE . im sorry, but fuck . u don't know how many sleepless nights i have went through just to be like how we were last time . u dont know . no one knows . so, what the fcuking shit are u tryna say ? by u saying she doesn't seem to realise is like u tryna say, " she's not gonna change . " how do u know ? well, im gonna die soon . yeah ? u dont know what ive been doing at home now . im like, anti-guys right now . u dont know a single shit .
well good, u realise it . u realise im tryna avoid u . congrats . u know what ? u are one ms i-know-everything . what can i say ? ugh . but.. do u know why im tryna avoid u ? do u ? if u think its because of sweet talker motha fcukers .. ur hell wrong . it aint because of them . unfortunately, its because of u, girl . u said, u were very dissapointed to hear bad things i said about u ? do u think ima doll ? ive been hearing bad stuffs u said about me too . & guess what ? i couldn't care less cause i thought that was all bullshit & i fcuking trust u . but u .. believing all this shit, u dont even trust me, even though u said u do . i thought u were the best . sigh .. ive been avoiding u since people said u were avoiding me . do u know, ur pressuring me ? do u ? sometimes, i just regret coming to u as a friend . if only i knew this would happen . im sorry girl, ur not my friend . ur no longer my friend .Labels: this is for u
Written on Saturday, March 8, 2008 @ 4:45 PM
yep . & so, i did it . hmmm .. i feel bad & happy . but mostly, bad ): if theres no me, the break up wont ever happen . if theres no him, nth would have happened . gaaaa ... why me ?
last friday, i actually stayed in school until 2.30 PM . it was funn . shafiqa, noura, yanti & i became high . who knows ? maybe that will be the last ? oh sungguh tk perlu illa . extra . pfft . then after that, i went home, change into casual & went to nazrah's . waited for her to change . while waiting, i msged kak sidah & asked whatever that had happen for the past few days . well, that guy's really a chicken, i guess . allow me to share with u ..
around 4
(me) kak sidah ? what happen between u & ur guy ? what did he say ?
(her) oh i wanted to break up with him but he didn't accept it . he said he flirted with u to grab my attention .
(me) i was thinking, asshole, i said .. really ? well, he's meeting me today . wanna come ?
she called me & asked me for infos . well, both of us had to be home before 5 .
(me) today meeting ?
(him) he called me . he said .. u wanna meet ?
(me) up to u . i thought u said u were free after 4 . so i asked if we meeting or not .
(him) who are u with ?
(me) friend . why ?
(him) oh if theres ur friend, then, dont need to meet .
i was like, wth ? grr .
4.15 PM
nazrah by then da siap . she was like, wtf ? leceh uh tu jantan . hahaha . then we were like finding someone's name, anybody's name to lepak with . as i was searching through her phone book .. i saw his name .
(me) sial . u know hilmi ayam ?
(her) yaa . eh, how u know him ?
(me) i should be asking u, deng . he's the himi that we're gonna meet !
(her) huh ? serious ? f*** i meeting him bsk ! he said .. smth smth smth syg . blaablaa .
(me) kiwakk . ni jantan ..
thats when i called kak sidah & told her that he also flirted with nazrah . that can't possibly be grabbing someone's attention, was it ?. btw, if we're in a relationship, u want attention or lack of attention, tell ur mate on the face !! me, nazrah & kak sidah became so angry we decided to meet up & plan on smth . it was as if we're going to catch Mas Selamat . hahah .
i lied to hilmi saying that im meeting him & im alone . after hearing 'alone' .. he decided to meet up .
4.40PM
talking to amee & nazrah in tampines mart mac . then, saw qayyum & salihin in ite simei uni coming in . qayyum smiled . but i didn't know that they were there to spy too . received call from kak sidah .
(me) hello ?
(her) illa, where u ?
(me) in mac .
(her) oh, just to let u know, im opposite mac . i can see everything from here . so, if he reach there, sit outside so i can see, ok ?
(me) ok, best .
i didn't remember that actually he wanted to sit somewhere where there's no one . i called kak sidah ..
(me) where u ?
(her) opposite blk .
i crossed the road & saw her . hanged up the phone & dashed across the road .
4.50PM
(me) kak sidah, me & my friend were planning .. if he come already, u team up with nazrah & follow me frm the back . then, 1, 2, 3 .. u go to him .
(her) huh ? why ? where is he now ?
(me) called him . probably still at home . gaaa .
(her) huh ? i have to be back by 5 !
(me) me too ! if only azhar was here . he could help .
(her) azhar, azhar !
(me) dont play a fool laa .
(her) noo . really he's here .
went to azhar & he did what he was suppose to do . msged ibu (: then .. my time was extended till 6 . yep . while talking .. qayyum called azhar .
(him) illa's not in the mac . she went outside .
(azhar) relax, i know . like police siaa .
hahah . fun tauu ! hhes . sad at that moment ):
5.10 ?
received call from hilmi . he said he was going to reach there around 5-10 minutes time . he wanted to meet at the block beside mac . i told them . so .. yeah . we met . scary !.. heheh . he's like soooooo tall ! oh my gosh . when he sits down, he's like .. already my height ? dammit . i feel super short . heh .
then the plan goes . when .. amee, NOURA & nazrah came . he was like, " eh there ur friend " i acted as if i was angry with them . hehe . pretending (: clever at that . and am proud of it . heehs . ok then .. he said, " if they were to come, i will be going back " sial laa . chicken laa sia . hehe . actually, amee wanted her phone back . thanks yaw . for lending me ur phone . my bat da mampos . heh . yeah . then, came back & again pretend to be pissed off . so, i brought him further from that place . yep . nazrah & kak sidah were still following . heehs . they walk so slow (: ape laaa .
then, when he turned back, i think he saw kak sidah . then he's face changed . & he quickly walked away . omgayy . can i slap him ? ugh . maybe he was thinking that i would run after him . please, dont dream . not even coming true .
went to kak sidah . she cried . if only i could kill him . i mean, he's got ONE right ? why must he be scared ? berani buat berani tanggung uhh siaa . part cool is that he's "scandal" > nazrah, girlfriend > kak sidah .. now knows each other . & i'm like just a friend, i guess . heehs . ok what ? not that badd . heh . & we know each other ! wahh . confirm best punye . hahha .
then the story ends . the end .
oh yaa, qayyum forgot to give nazrah her $2 back, i guess =.=
Labels: can i can i ? kill him .
Written on Friday, March 7, 2008 @ 9:30 AM
to read : http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_d_B5e9F5Bq0/R8-uaPb7ALI/AAAAAAAAAGY/YeG2ifuFx8A/s1600-h/Untitled.jpg
today, kekek uh . 3 boys in my class niik, funny liao .hifzhan, i know he was joking around . he have amee . oh yaa, ameekush ! last long, aye ? heheh . kenneth, bored already cause from last year keep on saying ' i love u ' to me . but today, new person, GRANT ! hahah . cute uh the story .
first grant started disturbing iqa . saying, " atiqa, i love u lehh . stead with me can ? " then, iqa said, " no " this happen for sometime . until i said, " cannot laa, atiqa got boyfriend already " which was a fake . she broke up (: she's happy . then, grant said, " ohh ! "
then, suddenly me, iqa & grant so quiet . out of the blue, grant said, " i like illa, i like illa syakilah " waliao . irritating budo . then, he ask me for stead . i think fake laa . impossible (: so i was like, " uh, ok " then suddenly, hifzhan gila did the same thing . then, in class, they end up " fighting " haha . cooool . 2 guys fighting for 1 girl . hahha . ok illa, lame . amee amee .. amee jgn jealous ok ? dher tak flirt . dher main main je . they turn by turn put their arms around my neck, grant the most . omgayy .. so geli . hahah . i was like, " zhan, aku blang matae kau kau flirt baru tau . " he was like, " blang uhh, blang uhhh " so im here telling amee .. actually dher tak flirt . dher gurau je (: then, they took the blank foolscap paper on my table . hifzhan started writing, " hifzhan love illa, illa love hifzhan " amee, jgn jealous . dher GURAU . i scolded him already . yeap . dont worry . he flirt i slap him (: if u allow ..
the grant was like, " ehh, u dont steal my girlfriend i tell u " then grant snatched the paper & wrote the same thing + the word " forever " . haiyoo . korang korang . takde keje . then, hifzhan took a marker from gretchen's pencil case & said, " i got marker " grant said, " eh .. waliao . " & snatch it . he wrote on the board, " grant love .... HIFZHAN ! " i was like, please dont write my name please . hahha . its so wrong . the whole class will be thinking that i stead with grant ? ohman . then grant sat beside me & said, " ehh, illa my girlfriend laa oi " to hifzhan . then, hifzhan said, " illa after sch go mac ok ? " i was like what for ? then grant said, " illa later i send u home ok ? " hahha . funny laa . haii .. i asked grant, u really like me right ? he said yes . so i said, prove it . he go do the pout em lips siaa . ew . then i was like, ok stop .
during SFL, grant was following me everywhere . until the library . sch library . he sat beside me . then the malay girls was like, " eh grant ! go away laa . i want sit here . " then he replied, " i want sit with illa . " then i asked him to sit somewhere else . he stand up and walk away . then came back trying to figure out where to sit . he asked naz & noura to sit in front & give him the seat so he can sit beside me . he didn't stop saying that until teacher said, " grant sit infront " then, he sat riiiggghhtt in front . hahha .
after sch, he carried my bag & went out of class . " eh faster i send u " he said to me . i was like, in my heart .. " yeah ? mmhmm . riiiiiiiiiiiiight . " he really go siaa . i said, " eh wait laa for the malay girls . i going home with them . " then he went into the classroom, go outside, give my bag, went into the classroom again & went home with the chinese boys . hahha . he said, " bye illa " i replied . as for kenneth he just said, " eh illa i love u " yeahh ! people love me yaw . hahha . then andrew asked, " eh illa where ur stead grant ? " i was like huh ? my stead ? ok . then i said he inside the class . funny laa . haiyoo .Labels: so called ., the 3 musketeers
Written on Monday, March 3, 2008 @ 10:01 AM
haiss .. i swear i ain't jealous or sad or anything that i didn't go to noura's bday party . well, i ain't angry anymore .
to noura, whatever it is .. sisters fight (: that's a great thing okay ?? & im sorry i didn't go to ur party . just not in the mood . about the comment, im sorry i took it too seriously . maybe i just want u to stop ur good stuffs . well, from now on, u live ur life, i live mine . i know ur tryna' stop me from all my nonsense . i understand . but, im just too fed up with ur, " by right kan, u shouldn't even salam boys, or hold boys, or BE WITH boys, or have boyfriends . i know, dosa . i know . maybe, this is not the time for me to realise . maybe for me, my word is, " life's short, live life to the fullest " yeah . i will change to be better one day . i swear . teenage life, its always like this . maybe ? ur the best damn thang . sure you are . every one agrees . and by u saying all those stuff i said earlier, it just makes me feel that u dont have the trust in me . u know i wont do that stuffs nami did right ?Labels: yeaa
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Written on Tuesday, March 25, 2008 @ 4:37 PM
look, i know what your gonna say when i tell u this .. i kindda fought with hakeem again . i guess . really . i had no idea he was talking to me . i really thought he was talking to nab . so, i listened to songs & pretend im not hearing . because that would be going against people's private talk . who knows .. they were sweet-talking to each other . looooook, im really sorry hakeem . forgive me ? i wont do that again . im serious . ugh . illa's such a dumbass .
ok, today, i found out that hakeem actually created a new blog for his special one . idk who . because he said it wasn't nab . so, yeah . he ain't gonna tell me . & i ain't gonna ask him again . it would be very annoying . yep . he just said that he was gonna delete his current blog because he have created a new blog . again, for his special one .
me, hakeem & nab was chatting on the phone . then, firdaus came in . firdaus is nab's brother . he was having some itsy-bitsy trouble with his girlfriend . so, he wanted to break up . & yeah, i feel so bad . because firdaus actually wants to know me more . he said that he is hoping to get me after the break up . maybe, he even told plans to hakeem . idk when we're meeting . but i got this feeling that it wouldn't be nice . idk why .
hakeem sort of talked about me to nab . nab congratulated me because i successfully & unintentionally caught her brother's heart . guess what ? idk what sch his from, whats his age, when's his birthday, used to not know his name (until today) & his number . but guess what ? he knows all these basic stuffs about me . yeah . amazing huh ? u know why ? he asked me . of course . but i didn't know he was actually trying to be with me . shocking huh ? i accidentally made my ex's(hakeem's) girlfriend's(nab's) big brother(firdaus) liked me . hakeem said to nab that i have a lot of what they call, fans . so, not ! he told nab the reason why me & him broke up . aidil . & he told nab that when he stead with me, aidil liked-liked me . u know what ? i feel that nab will think ima playgirl . which im not . & hates to be call by that . sometimes, i can just shout at one person, " i am not a playgirl ! " just to stop them calling me a playgirl . what's so fun about being one ? ugh . typical people .
& on the other hand, im still deciding on whether to accept khairul or this new guy u people dont know or my other ex . & despite all that, im still stucked in a disease called, Love Lunancy . Love Lunancy is like liking/loving/craving for someone whose unavailable & attached . yep . thats my problem . but no, he's not hakeem . if it is, i'll tell him . yeahh . can i just for once have someone i loved or liked or craved for to be my one & only ? its always someone unexpected who will turn up & "propose" to u, in a teenage way .
whoever who have experienced this .. please help me . & whoever who is going through this .. welcome to my world .
with love,
Illa SyakilahLabels: done
Written on Friday, March 21, 2008 @ 9:21 AM
lifes plain bored . isn't it ? nazrah's got aidil . hakeem's got nabihah . & here i am stucked in
between . all of them are the best . seriously . but one major problem here is that, i keep having
trouble with hakeem . especially since he's got nabihah . & yes, i don't have any problems with
their relationship okaaay ! i swear . its just that, he keeps on scolding me . maybe to him im a big
problem . & maybe to me, idk . its like, ugh . what should i do ?
if he really wants me to walk out & back off, i can . for his relationships' sake . he could just tell
me straight that he dont wanna have anything to do with me . no need to find a very small
problem & make it big ! i dont wanna fight with hakeem . & now, he's like scolding me . then,
when are we gonna stop fighting for heavens' sake ?! omg . only Allah knows . even if he dislikes
me, maybe . he should just back off & ignore me dont u think ? ugh . tell u what .. i love hakeem, i
love nazrah, i love aidil, i love noura & i love yanti . alot ! i can swear ! okaaaay ? u are all like the
best !
if i ever fight with any of u .. i think that would be hurting enough . i wont go over it . because u
are all my outside-family-loved-ones . before & after i was with hakeem, i really didn't know how
to tell him i dont wanna fight . until now . i have been thinking of a solution to this problem . but
this problem doesnt seem to have any ! & noura .. its the same thing . now, we are happy . later,
what else ? another fight . i can't stand fights . i am not strong . i am not a strong girl . i may be
hyper, cheerful, happy-go-lucky in the outside . but seriously, never in the inside . people say ..
emo shit, emo sucks, emo fcuk . well, i have ever said that to people . but guys, i dont mean it ! it
was meant to be a joke . if u see, each and every human beings ( even animals ) they have a little
emo-ness in them . then, if they dont .. why can they feel sad ? why can they feel lost, hurt,
angry, depress, lonely ? how ? why ? isnt that emotionals ? & why people do emoticons ? isnt
there the word EMO there ? i find this super not logic ! i have said what i wanted to say to hakeem & noura .
so far, i have not fought with aidil . & i am not waiting for the moment to come . i hope it wont .
please . i just finished "fighting" with hakeem last few days . & now, it happened again . how
idiotic is that ? i mean, not him . but me . why must people always feel that im a troubled girl ? as
in .. i am always the trouble . he said lepaskan .. lepaskan what ? the problem or our friendship ?
only some people know my feelings . soome people . i know hakeem is also hurt . but do u think
he should have go on when i said suke hati & stop it ? i think he should . i really wanted to calm
him down . but, dont know how . nnti nabihah pikir aku flirt pulak . lagi big problem . if it is
possible, which i think it is .. i want them to have an everlasting relationship . same to nazrah &
aidil . if one by one, each day i lose hope or maybe them .. i think im useless in these world . we
are not meant to be strangers . we are meant to be friends . thats why i hate anti-socials . if i
can, i would socialise with each & everyone . im out of words . even crying wont help . i
dont know why tears are made . they are useless . idk why i cried over such things .
♥Labels: aku love korang
Written on Tuesday, March 18, 2008 @ 9:18 AM
hello . second post for the day . yepyep . today, school was okaay . noura talked to me . i talked to her . then, she tried to sort things out . & it worked . good job . & guess what ? sooner or later, i predict, me & noura are gonna fight again . nak bet ? heheh .
so yeahh . after sch .. ashiqin got a call from aidil . pikir ape . nak ckp ngn MRS NAMITO kesayangan dher tuu, nazrah (: then, he wanted to meet . nazrah actually couldn't make it . but, me, being the nice one ( ok illa, jgn prasan ) said, " nehmyne laa . just meet . we do project there . " she was like yeay illa ! whhe ~
aidil kept on asking on where to meet . he was at tamp library . so i told him, " cross the road, take bus 28 . meet at east spring . " cheyy . dorang nak jumpe aku yg settle tempat . hahha . then when we saw aidil coming down from the bus . with his friend, muz or mus or idk . ugh . nazrah became so shy she don't wanna go there . omg . guess what ? she brought noura & yan along . noura was as usual, acting childishly . aidil told us that she sound so budak kecik . ahha . yeah . so, after sending us ( me & nazrah ) to the bus stop, noura & yan went off . aidil was being annoyong . calling me emo & stuffs .
i was really annoyed i blurted out some things i was not suppose to say . u see, aidil was an ex admirer of mine . so, me & him, we now each other longer than he & nazrah . i was like, " rather than that someone . admits he's an emo . go to school wear eyeliner " hah . terdiam kau aidil ! first time dgr aku kurang ajar kan ? hahha . he was shy . thats why he didn't admit it .
nazrah called me a minah =.= hah . then, aidil thought she bastard me . hah ! aidil aidil . kau ehh . hahah . we walked to my house to put my bag down . down i carried aliyah out & said to aidil, " nii anak nazrah " he thought i wanted to bring aliyah along . omg . tkya suda . susahkan diri je . heheh . but she's adorable . ilovealiyah .
then, we went to nazrah's hse for her to change into PE attire . cause she was shy . her skirt was big & long . her mom disallowed her to use short skirts . then, when nazrah was changing . i went out of her hse to check out on the guys . i told aidil to wait . then he called me down . i said, " nak bobal, naik . tpi, sorang " because i know smth was going on .
he said, " nazrah isap rokok ? " so, i said no . i mean, its true . she dont . then he ask me, " kau ? " no ok ! then he said, " kawan aku pat bawah nak knal knal ngn kau . " so i was like . no way . don't even dream . that guy, aidil's friend, who liked me, serious talking uh . he won't get me . sorry man, but ive got standards . heh . jual mahal pulak . haha . so aidil was like, asal ? i said i just dont want . then he said, everybody, READ, he said .. " MASIH SUKEKAN HAKEEM EH ? "
omg . what makes him say that ? i smiled and said no .
we went to lepak at north park, near to mine & nazrah's . then, we talked & talked . mus or muz was so annoying . kept on asking if he & me can .. u know . i wanted to say, " eh ! please eh . stop it . jgn tk tau malu uh . " mcm je . but, its very hurtful to tell that someone on the spot, for my case . aidil talked to me . he said, " laa . blang dher uh u dont like him . " i was like, NO ! then i say, " its not easy u know . " then he said, " it is " then i say, " did i tell u i dont want u so easily ? " he said, yaa . i said, " NO . it took time for me to think whether to take u or not ! " oops ! did i just say that ? cause he, after hearing that from my mouth, face to face kept quiet . i feel so sorry . i just dont want ur friend . really .
but still, he really wanted me to BE WITH that guy as a friend . aku tknk ! im arrogant . got problem ? i don't want to have anything to do with that guy ! he said, " if u never go to him, i'll make him come here . & i will hold ur hand tightly so u won't run . " he failed many times . i mean, grabbing my hand to stop me from running away . tk dpt uhh ! still, he succeeded . he grabbed my hand . i was trying to make him let go . we did some " dancing around, some twisting & turning . im sorry nazrah . if u saw it .. dont be jealous . i was just trying make him let go . & he terpakse hugged me because i was about to escape . so yeah . im really sorry . (: sorry ok ?
di situ, heheh . there, nazrah & muz or mus was so quiet . yg kecoh .. illa & aidil . oh biase . illa memang kecoh . tpi, tk sangke aidil bergitu kecoh . hah . first time meet . first impression . i dont need to attract anyone . so, i thought, i acted it all out . the first time he hear me shout, the first pinch and back-slapping he got from me, the first shitty stuffs he saw me doing . hahha . i've never done that to anyone but my family ! cooooool . bad bad impression illa ! hahha . eleh .. tpi, aidil was not at all different . bising nak mampos ! tsk . oh yeah, aidil also asked me if i was still with hakeem . because after the break up, he said hakeem told him, me & him patched again . damn ! im confused . his face was super serious . when he said hakeem & me patched . but, i quite didn't believe . of course . because after the second break up .. we never patch up again . but, still in contact . yeay ! but, now, we so called fight . because i hanged on hakeem . oh, im sorry .
yeah, i left them . i went back home & saw kakak, her bf, zhar & friends, khairiya & friends trying to sort things out . but, i was a bit blur i didn't saw them . i mean the faces . was quite blurish . they were all looking at me . not knowing it was them, i was a bit nervous . turned back because azhar called me . but stil didn't know it was him i turned back . then, i looked behind again & saw NAMITOS following . so, i went to them & walked with them . yeah .
i got to know it was my sister when she came back . from 5 plus till now . aidil & nazrah haven't went back . nazrah's mom sort of know about things when i called her . tsk . nazrah nazrah . ape je korang buat . alaa .. nazrah wont do anymore . i trust her . tpi, mane je korang pegi . aku tau responsible . tsk . balik cpat !
HAKEEM, IM SORRY Labels: yeaa
8:12 AM
dear noura,
yes, i also have told others that nth will do us apart . but mine is, " alaa . kite bestfriends . sampai mati pun takkan berpisah punye ! " i rmbr telling that to someone . i just forget who .
if i hate ur comments, i talk to u nicely ? well, i've done that tons of times . all i hear is u & ur " by right kan .. " thingy . that got me irritated that i gave up on telling things to u . u see .. having a cucu rasulullah as a friend, a bestfriend is hard to be with . i mean, hard to get & hard to handle (: they can be VERY "over-mature" . really, im stating a fact here .
well, i have to admit that i miss those times . in POD we dance around like monkeys . ohh, that is the best ! & to tell u the truth, ok wait . do u rmbr our last fun ? the time when we played the childish hand game with shaffy ? if u do, when i went home with naz, i cried . luckily she didn't realise . she would be very noisy . with the " jgn nangis baby ", " illa, relax uh " etc . etc . i really thought that woould be the last because i "had enough of ur too islamic stuffs " . im sorry .
what stuffs ? ok, lemme tell u .. since i know u, i have stopped all the STUFFS usually couples do . e.g. snogging . well, before that i already stop laa . but, i kindda ALMOST start it back . then, the hero came . you =.= hehs . kidding . like u said ..
Let's just recall what we've been doing during the past year.
Nicknaming, Imitating, laugh till you drop, late night phone calls till 5; prank calling, outings, arguing, almost dieing , getting into trouble, making up games, gossiping, telling each other secrets that we wouldn't tell anyone else, 3G-ing, making up words, making fun of others, butt/face/ smacking, u grab I slap[okay i got confused?] , farting? , taking pictures, getting high with yanti, horny stuff, like far distance jolok :/, bertawaf for hours, cabot, working together in grps, praying at the mosque, doa-ing in the mosque, praised by some holy women, getting each other into trouble, driving each other maddd, so called illegal stuff? , buy each other things, standing up for each other, Consoling each other, kissing, making fun of each other :o, sms each others mum selamat hari raya, which was your idea :), not fasting and then go into each others room to eat :O, influencing good roles, lying, getting close to teachers (cikgu sab, miss rafiqqa,) , acting sick, dramamama-ing, do stewpid stuff w/o a care in the world of what people would think and the best of all, best friending. heh . copy & paste (:
BUT FARTING MANE ADE ?!!? ASAL BLEY KENTOT JE .
I think i forgot what i wanna say . heh .Labels: no labels .
Written on Friday, March 14, 2008 @ 4:14 PM
tell me, how hard can life be ? with people u love avoiding or even accusing u ? its just so depressing . thats all i can say . each time i wake up, hoping for a new, happy day, it turns out to be otherwise .
i still can't believe my friends actually thought i flirt with their boyfriends . and even brothers !? oh hell . i have my pride & dignity . i am no desporadoes, ok ? but, if u still think i did flirt with ur lovely ex-hunkies, i am really sorry my beloved friends . i wasn't trying to flirt . but, to be honest, i don't know any of ur exs . or even ur current boyfriend . except for nazrah's & ashiqin's . happens to be my friend, too . hah .
to nazrah, before u get the wrong idea .. i have never flirted with him before . but, sadly, he did . because he liked me before knowing u . so yeah . last long .
to ashiqin .. amirul, is none of my business . & yeah . he called me because he was curious why he couldnt get u .
& to my beloved ex, hakeem .. last long laa . dgn nabihahaha . sorry u, tak menghina . cume ikot ikot :D heheh . & if u ever think i am jealous . NO . N-O, NO . nak jealous buat ape ? u sendirik kate dulu, move on . i am (: heehs . hakeem kentot bau taik .
to yanti's or whoever's abang .. i don't know u . & i have never flirt with u . yanti's abang .. i don't even know ur name . & i only met u for like twice or thrice !? if u think i flirt with abang ridwan (abg wan) .. certainly not ! he's my abg . why would i flirt with him !!??
look, im sorry everyone . but, this is all not a misunderstanding . totally not !
i cried until my eyes went red just now . now, my family accuse me of stealing . wtf ? i already suspect who stole the money . but, i will just keep it to myself to save myself from any more problems . not a single soul will know who .Labels: keeping my own secret (x
11:03 AM
What She (kakak) Said To Me Illa, think through while reading this, ok. No matter, how much i say Khairiya flirt. Khairiya this, Khairiya that. We don't make a big fuss out of it. I told her indirectly before. But she, chose to not take it to the heart. So, whatever with what's happening now ok? Both u and Noura, are friends. And, there's no such thing of EX-BESTFRIENDS. That is so PRIMARY SCHOOL. So, now. I'm asking u, to welcome SECONDARY SCHOOL. No more arguing over cods anymore. Please? U want a real problem? Wait till u become older. Like i've said to Noura. It doesn't matter if u have any problems. It's not supposed to effect school life. U have to enjoy school life, bcos. When u get older, working life will not be enjoyable as school life. Plus, treasure the friendship that u have built. With anybody. Problems are not reasons why u do this, u do that. It's an excuse. Now, try to recap. Remember when we, used to fight bcos of Noura? It is indeed not good for both of us. But, have u realised, why u did that? Well, in my point of view. It's bcos Noura made an impact in ur life. And, do u remember, me telling u about me and Khairiya arguing? It's not nice, even though it was barely a day. Don't tell me, u want to make this beautiful friendship of urs, bear fruits. And then, u let it rot. Instead of plucking them and let them have more room to grow new ones. It's not nice to see, rotten fruits right? Same goes to friendship. It's not nice to see a once beautiful friendship, burn into ashes. Illa, u fight for Noura. And, Noura helps u too. To change ur mindset. Into a better person. Count urself lucky. Bcos, u have a friend that wants to lessen ur sins. For people who don't have a friend like her? They'll burn in hell, i tell u. However, i just can't deny that she have a wrong way in approaching it. And of course, that she'll think that whatever she's doing is right. If u were her, u'll have the same thinking right? Now, reminisce. What have both u and Noura gone through together. She, being hated by our family. U, being hated by her family. Both of u are so matching. And, i feel proudless to say that i haven't faced that kind of challenge before. Even with Khairiya. So, be proud to say that both of u have been through thick and thin. Noura have her ways, and u have urs. Both of u, have to accept that. Not everybody are the same. Ingat, 'rambut sama hitam, hati lain-lain'. And, Noura isn't giving a sucky attitude, neither are u. Bcos, both of u have to be honest, to make things better. This, is the chance to improve on ur friendship. Not let it go dow the drain. What's the point of building it up then? Just remember, family is important. Although, i've said that friends are not important. I didn't mean it. Friends are important. They sometimes gives the greatest advice. But, u make the decision. And please, make sure u make the right decision. Save this friendship, it's not too late. Nothing is too late in this world. Present world. Ok? Both of u, are 'sisters'. And like me and u, even the great wall of china can't do us apart. Just think all of this through. I may not like Noura. But, to make it an excuse, to tear ur friendship apart, isn't the best i can do for my sister. I want her, to experience the ups and downs of life, with someone she will be comfortable with. And guide her on the right path, through it. Solve this, girls. THANK YOU, KAKAK . I HOPE SHE REALISE . Labels: done
Written on Thursday, March 13, 2008 @ 4:54 PM
yaa . i think theres nothing left to say . all my answers have been said by kakak . thanks ehh . ur the best . & tell ur friends, i appreciate their help . ima flirt . i flirt with guys . when they didn't even know im tryna' tell them to stop disturbing me . i don't run to guys . they are just despos . i flirt with ur abangs . who ? yanti's abang ? not even once . i flirt with their matair . who ? tell them to talk to me . & i'll show the meaning of FLIRT . u want flirty me ? fine with me . ask them to bring all the guys that they think i have flirt with before . i'll tell them what i've done . what i've help . im trying to save their fcuking relationship . im trying to save them from being hurt . if this person ur referring to is ashiqin .. yaa . i flirt with the guys she like . i flirt with them by talking . whoa . sucha flirt seyy illa . just by talking tau .
illa vogue uh . bobal tros orang terpikat . tak jealous ke ? dher nak pki tudong lagyyk . sape ehh nak replace illa ? confirm shiok . illa illa . rabak .
oh . meet up eh ? kite bobal care baik . Labels: this is for u
10:35 AM
well, i find it easier to reply her here . so, READ .
noura .. first of all . ur not a burden . seriously . it just annoys people when u start saying all those stuff . da mcm terrorists tau tak ? u may be wondering why u get answers like these . well, u've got the answer . why ask ? its just that . u look at people more than u look at urself . sometimes i think that ur teaching others but not urself . i know, u'll deny . but think . u think they're siding u .. they as in our friends . they just dont wanna hurt u .
the reason why i became so mean is because .. if im not gonna be straight forward then, who else ? our friends aint that straight forward dont u think ? i became mean because of them .. well, yes . i've been complaining about u to them A LOT . they say .. confront her laa confront her . fyi, i have tried that a lot of times . takkan pasal lelaki kau nak attitude ni macam ? i dont wanna say what they say about u . it'll just hurt u . all i know is that, most of them think the same way i think about u .
well yeah, as a friend, u said u've been patient . but, HELL NO . ur not being patient . are u tryna' say that we will be friends only till sec 5 ? fine, u want it . u'll get it . all i wanna say now is that, treasure and bear this moment a lot . because ur gonna get the worst of me sooner or later .
i will show u all my colours if u want . this is just the beggining . but im not tryna say im bad . its just u dont know me well enough . sometimes i think adie knows me better . now, why did i say ur not patient enough ? u said .. SHE DOESN'T SEEM TO REALISE . im sorry, but fuck . u don't know how many sleepless nights i have went through just to be like how we were last time . u dont know . no one knows . so, what the fcuking shit are u tryna say ? by u saying she doesn't seem to realise is like u tryna say, " she's not gonna change . " how do u know ? well, im gonna die soon . yeah ? u dont know what ive been doing at home now . im like, anti-guys right now . u dont know a single shit .
well good, u realise it . u realise im tryna avoid u . congrats . u know what ? u are one ms i-know-everything . what can i say ? ugh . but.. do u know why im tryna avoid u ? do u ? if u think its because of sweet talker motha fcukers .. ur hell wrong . it aint because of them . unfortunately, its because of u, girl . u said, u were very dissapointed to hear bad things i said about u ? do u think ima doll ? ive been hearing bad stuffs u said about me too . & guess what ? i couldn't care less cause i thought that was all bullshit & i fcuking trust u . but u .. believing all this shit, u dont even trust me, even though u said u do . i thought u were the best . sigh .. ive been avoiding u since people said u were avoiding me . do u know, ur pressuring me ? do u ? sometimes, i just regret coming to u as a friend . if only i knew this would happen . im sorry girl, ur not my friend . ur no longer my friend .Labels: this is for u
Written on Saturday, March 8, 2008 @ 4:45 PM
yep . & so, i did it . hmmm .. i feel bad & happy . but mostly, bad ): if theres no me, the break up wont ever happen . if theres no him, nth would have happened . gaaaa ... why me ?
last friday, i actually stayed in school until 2.30 PM . it was funn . shafiqa, noura, yanti & i became high . who knows ? maybe that will be the last ? oh sungguh tk perlu illa . extra . pfft . then after that, i went home, change into casual & went to nazrah's . waited for her to change . while waiting, i msged kak sidah & asked whatever that had happen for the past few days . well, that guy's really a chicken, i guess . allow me to share with u ..
around 4
(me) kak sidah ? what happen between u & ur guy ? what did he say ?
(her) oh i wanted to break up with him but he didn't accept it . he said he flirted with u to grab my attention .
(me) i was thinking, asshole, i said .. really ? well, he's meeting me today . wanna come ?
she called me & asked me for infos . well, both of us had to be home before 5 .
(me) today meeting ?
(him) he called me . he said .. u wanna meet ?
(me) up to u . i thought u said u were free after 4 . so i asked if we meeting or not .
(him) who are u with ?
(me) friend . why ?
(him) oh if theres ur friend, then, dont need to meet .
i was like, wth ? grr .
4.15 PM
nazrah by then da siap . she was like, wtf ? leceh uh tu jantan . hahaha . then we were like finding someone's name, anybody's name to lepak with . as i was searching through her phone book .. i saw his name .
(me) sial . u know hilmi ayam ?
(her) yaa . eh, how u know him ?
(me) i should be asking u, deng . he's the himi that we're gonna meet !
(her) huh ? serious ? f*** i meeting him bsk ! he said .. smth smth smth syg . blaablaa .
(me) kiwakk . ni jantan ..
thats when i called kak sidah & told her that he also flirted with nazrah . that can't possibly be grabbing someone's attention, was it ?. btw, if we're in a relationship, u want attention or lack of attention, tell ur mate on the face !! me, nazrah & kak sidah became so angry we decided to meet up & plan on smth . it was as if we're going to catch Mas Selamat . hahah .
i lied to hilmi saying that im meeting him & im alone . after hearing 'alone' .. he decided to meet up .
4.40PM
talking to amee & nazrah in tampines mart mac . then, saw qayyum & salihin in ite simei uni coming in . qayyum smiled . but i didn't know that they were there to spy too . received call from kak sidah .
(me) hello ?
(her) illa, where u ?
(me) in mac .
(her) oh, just to let u know, im opposite mac . i can see everything from here . so, if he reach there, sit outside so i can see, ok ?
(me) ok, best .
i didn't remember that actually he wanted to sit somewhere where there's no one . i called kak sidah ..
(me) where u ?
(her) opposite blk .
i crossed the road & saw her . hanged up the phone & dashed across the road .
4.50PM
(me) kak sidah, me & my friend were planning .. if he come already, u team up with nazrah & follow me frm the back . then, 1, 2, 3 .. u go to him .
(her) huh ? why ? where is he now ?
(me) called him . probably still at home . gaaa .
(her) huh ? i have to be back by 5 !
(me) me too ! if only azhar was here . he could help .
(her) azhar, azhar !
(me) dont play a fool laa .
(her) noo . really he's here .
went to azhar & he did what he was suppose to do . msged ibu (: then .. my time was extended till 6 . yep . while talking .. qayyum called azhar .
(him) illa's not in the mac . she went outside .
(azhar) relax, i know . like police siaa .
hahah . fun tauu ! hhes . sad at that moment ):
5.10 ?
received call from hilmi . he said he was going to reach there around 5-10 minutes time . he wanted to meet at the block beside mac . i told them . so .. yeah . we met . scary !.. heheh . he's like soooooo tall ! oh my gosh . when he sits down, he's like .. already my height ? dammit . i feel super short . heh .
then the plan goes . when .. amee, NOURA & nazrah came . he was like, " eh there ur friend " i acted as if i was angry with them . hehe . pretending (: clever at that . and am proud of it . heehs . ok then .. he said, " if they were to come, i will be going back " sial laa . chicken laa sia . hehe . actually, amee wanted her phone back . thanks yaw . for lending me ur phone . my bat da mampos . heh . yeah . then, came back & again pretend to be pissed off . so, i brought him further from that place . yep . nazrah & kak sidah were still following . heehs . they walk so slow (: ape laaa .
then, when he turned back, i think he saw kak sidah . then he's face changed . & he quickly walked away . omgayy . can i slap him ? ugh . maybe he was thinking that i would run after him . please, dont dream . not even coming true .
went to kak sidah . she cried . if only i could kill him . i mean, he's got ONE right ? why must he be scared ? berani buat berani tanggung uhh siaa . part cool is that he's "scandal" > nazrah, girlfriend > kak sidah .. now knows each other . & i'm like just a friend, i guess . heehs . ok what ? not that badd . heh . & we know each other ! wahh . confirm best punye . hahha .
then the story ends . the end .
oh yaa, qayyum forgot to give nazrah her $2 back, i guess =.=
Labels: can i can i ? kill him .
Written on Friday, March 7, 2008 @ 9:30 AM
to read : http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_d_B5e9F5Bq0/R8-uaPb7ALI/AAAAAAAAAGY/YeG2ifuFx8A/s1600-h/Untitled.jpg
today, kekek uh . 3 boys in my class niik, funny liao .hifzhan, i know he was joking around . he have amee . oh yaa, ameekush ! last long, aye ? heheh . kenneth, bored already cause from last year keep on saying ' i love u ' to me . but today, new person, GRANT ! hahah . cute uh the story .
first grant started disturbing iqa . saying, " atiqa, i love u lehh . stead with me can ? " then, iqa said, " no " this happen for sometime . until i said, " cannot laa, atiqa got boyfriend already " which was a fake . she broke up (: she's happy . then, grant said, " ohh ! "
then, suddenly me, iqa & grant so quiet . out of the blue, grant said, " i like illa, i like illa syakilah " waliao . irritating budo . then, he ask me for stead . i think fake laa . impossible (: so i was like, " uh, ok " then suddenly, hifzhan gila did the same thing . then, in class, they end up " fighting " haha . cooool . 2 guys fighting for 1 girl . hahha . ok illa, lame . amee amee .. amee jgn jealous ok ? dher tak flirt . dher main main je . they turn by turn put their arms around my neck, grant the most . omgayy .. so geli . hahah . i was like, " zhan, aku blang matae kau kau flirt baru tau . " he was like, " blang uhh, blang uhhh " so im here telling amee .. actually dher tak flirt . dher gurau je (: then, they took the blank foolscap paper on my table . hifzhan started writing, " hifzhan love illa, illa love hifzhan " amee, jgn jealous . dher GURAU . i scolded him already . yeap . dont worry . he flirt i slap him (: if u allow ..
the grant was like, " ehh, u dont steal my girlfriend i tell u " then grant snatched the paper & wrote the same thing + the word " forever " . haiyoo . korang korang . takde keje . then, hifzhan took a marker from gretchen's pencil case & said, " i got marker " grant said, " eh .. waliao . " & snatch it . he wrote on the board, " grant love .... HIFZHAN ! " i was like, please dont write my name please . hahha . its so wrong . the whole class will be thinking that i stead with grant ? ohman . then grant sat beside me & said, " ehh, illa my girlfriend laa oi " to hifzhan . then, hifzhan said, " illa after sch go mac ok ? " i was like what for ? then grant said, " illa later i send u home ok ? " hahha . funny laa . haii .. i asked grant, u really like me right ? he said yes . so i said, prove it . he go do the pout em lips siaa . ew . then i was like, ok stop .
during SFL, grant was following me everywhere . until the library . sch library . he sat beside me . then the malay girls was like, " eh grant ! go away laa . i want sit here . " then he replied, " i want sit with illa . " then i asked him to sit somewhere else . he stand up and walk away . then came back trying to figure out where to sit . he asked naz & noura to sit in front & give him the seat so he can sit beside me . he didn't stop saying that until teacher said, " grant sit infront " then, he sat riiiggghhtt in front . hahha .
after sch, he carried my bag & went out of class . " eh faster i send u " he said to me . i was like, in my heart .. " yeah ? mmhmm . riiiiiiiiiiiiight . " he really go siaa . i said, " eh wait laa for the malay girls . i going home with them . " then he went into the classroom, go outside, give my bag, went into the classroom again & went home with the chinese boys . hahha . he said, " bye illa " i replied . as for kenneth he just said, " eh illa i love u " yeahh ! people love me yaw . hahha . then andrew asked, " eh illa where ur stead grant ? " i was like huh ? my stead ? ok . then i said he inside the class . funny laa . haiyoo .Labels: so called ., the 3 musketeers
Written on Monday, March 3, 2008 @ 10:01 AM
haiss .. i swear i ain't jealous or sad or anything that i didn't go to noura's bday party . well, i ain't angry anymore .
to noura, whatever it is .. sisters fight (: that's a great thing okay ?? & im sorry i didn't go to ur party . just not in the mood . about the comment, im sorry i took it too seriously . maybe i just want u to stop ur good stuffs . well, from now on, u live ur life, i live mine . i know ur tryna' stop me from all my nonsense . i understand . but, im just too fed up with ur, " by right kan, u shouldn't even salam boys, or hold boys, or BE WITH boys, or have boyfriends . i know, dosa . i know . maybe, this is not the time for me to realise . maybe for me, my word is, " life's short, live life to the fullest " yeah . i will change to be better one day . i swear . teenage life, its always like this . maybe ? ur the best damn thang . sure you are . every one agrees . and by u saying all those stuff i said earlier, it just makes me feel that u dont have the trust in me . u know i wont do that stuffs nami did right ?Labels: yeaa
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In random order.
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Hello human beings. My name is Illa Syakilah and I am not a terrorist.
Hehe. I can't seem to get over that quote since I watched the movie "My name is Khan."
I am coming sixteen this July 25 and I'm seriously not excited.
I'll be sitting for my GCE N Levels this year, and hopefully (very little chance, though) I'll qualify for Sec 5.
Maybe for now, you'll have fun teasing me but keep in mind that everyone has limits. And don't ever think of going over mine.
I am single and I don't wish to be unavailable because I believe that love comes naturally when it's the right time.
Honestly, since the last time I ever got into a relationship, I realised that I'm kinda lethargic when it comes to love but whatever.
The right one will fall not only for my perfection but also my flaws, right? Yeah :D
My interest lies in Performing Arts. I have been dancing for close to 10 years and damn it, I want to learn more!
When I'm feeling down or high, this is basically what I'd do. Just that when I'm down, I don't do it in public.
I dance for Purbanira Seni (my school Malay Dance troupe) and Sri Warisan Som Said Performing Arts Ltd.
I'm not a professional YET. But one day, I'll be an awesome one. Yes ah! I have yet to cover contemporary and such. Heh.
I get dance routines from boredom or imagination. I'd literally think of steps in my head and when I'm done, I'd work it out with my body.
Sometimes, I'd dance randomly and I'll get steps. Basically, I love everything that has got to do with Performing Arts.
I miss Indian dancing when I was in Kindergarten. Oh, that makes it 11 years of dancing! Hehe.
I'm not shy to say that my favorite place that has ever existed is.. my bed. I'm not the only one right?
I love to hang out but this year, I kinda find it hard to even make time for my friends! I love Glee. It's so cool.
My favorite boyfriend is Percy Jackson AKA Logan Lerman. Yes! I love him. Haha. Justin Bieber, his voice makes me melt.
Megan Fox, Beyonce, Kara Dioguardi, Kelly Clarkson, Nicole Scherzinger, Jojo, Selena Gomez, Katy Perry, Jessica Alba & more. These are the people who never fail to make me love them.
Thank you for bothering to read, if you actually did, that is.
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Here I am
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
i promise.
I feel like our world's been infected.
Quick Update ♥
It was almost perfect ):
You still are. And I still am.
Let's just hope he'd read this.
Yes, that's true.
I am very exhausted
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