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Written on Sunday, January 31, 2010 @ 2:05 PM
On Monday morning, there’ll be a ‘meet up’. A love ‘meet up’. But not a date. We’ve been indirectly contacting for close to 1 month and like finally, he confessed. Y’know, I am very lucky to have or get the guys I like. But at the same time, I feel sad. I don’t understand the term commitment anymore. I really want it back. And hopefully, this would make me commit. I don’t blame anyone for this. The commitment. It’s my fault I fell too hard for guy A and then dropped too quickly for guy B. And in a nick of time, we were already in a relationship. It’s like, we barely contacted and then we started being serious. So, it was really weird at first. With our history known. Still, he likes me for who I am. Some people already know about this. And I seriously wanna keep this down low. So to the persons who knows about this: please please please keep this to yourselves. It was funny though. The way he confessed. Haha. Cute. SW practice was fine. We finished the first routine of all 9 wajib basics. And we’re halfway done to the 2nd routine. Next week’s schedule has already been planned and totally tight. Dead busy. I have nothing else to say. Oh yes! I cried yesterday. (: Shan’t remind myself about it again. Or I’ll break down – again.
Written on Wednesday, January 27, 2010 @ 12:15 AM
I'm glad that Shafiqa babygirl has recovered from her sad feeling. Right? I'm happy for you baby. Today's task are:
i. English Assignment (barely completed) ii. TA and Introduction (COMPLETED)
School's getting tougher nowadays. I am so stressed and fucked up. With CCA and ASP going on, it's like we always reach home around 5 to 6 along with our tons of homeworks expected to be submitted the following day. Yes, we need naps and all. So that's what most of us babygirls do, go home, refresh and take a nap. And at around 8, we start doing our drills. And that's so tiring. Really.
Currently chatting with Mr. Spaghetti Boy and Shafiqa. Atiqa just left because she was tired. Tomorrow, we're gonna start the day with a spot check. Hopefully, not a thorough one. See, unlucky things are starting to come our way. Babygirls, it's time to deal with these challenges together yeah?
I found today's bio lesson fun. Not because of the video but because I felt a sense of achievement and pride when I knew how to answered my test questions. I felt so clever. Haha! Okay, right after the test, we begin a new chapter. Reproduction in Female. And so, Ms Maybelline Tan showed us a video on how a zygote is formed and all. And there's this part where the video showed us the woman's breast developing during pregnancy. And there's this sex scene which Ms Tan skipped a little. The guys obviously got excited. Haha. But the girls felt so, showcased. Haha! Okay, enough about sex and boobs and ladies.
I am now chatting with Shafiqa, Ayie and Adi. Mr. Spaghetti Boy went missing. Oh maan, tomorrow I'm not gonna be alive. ); Shaffy knows why.
Written on Tuesday, January 26, 2010 @ 8:48 AM
Ok people. Today Atiqa, Shafiqa and I telah ditiup oleh angin sial. Early in the morning after the national anthem, Atiqa was caught for her anklet and I was caught for my hair and then we were caught for our skirts. SHORT? Fcuk, are you blind or what!? Then, some oldies, you know, likes to get themselves involved. So they gave us a lecture on how to be good girls. With hair all tied neatly, pinned up and wear long skirts. So we tied our hair back and she asked me to comb my newly permed hair. How can I? Then, tak pasal2 rambut rosak -.- Then, we we lectured about why we must dress neatly because there is no one to attract here in school. It's a school, not a fashion show! So, one by one, we got pissed off.
Obviously, we totally lost the mood for school today. Well, I know my skirt ain't short! And now, instead of doing our courseworks, we decided not to pay attention and be rebellious. Ahh fcuk uh, totally lost my mood sia. So bloggy, count yourself lucky. (:
I am having an upset tummy and I am sooooo not looking forward to Malay class. You know, I know why. Okla, the teacher seems to be nagging more the more we neglect her. So to ask her to zip it, I'll do my work. A little, at least. Hehe.
And teacher, quit comparing you _____!
Written on Monday, January 25, 2010 @ 9:11 PM
Well, it is just a temporary bliss. I messed up everything. Today is upsetting. I am so stressed and so depressed. Tasks for today are to complete these few things:
i. English assignment [i left it in the English file!] ii. Introduction & check TA again [doing] iii. Revise Biology for tomorrow's test [completed]
Many things are like running in my mind now. I can't keep my focus on these tasks. I need something to help me forget! But how?
Even after laughing my ass off with the babygirls while eating KFC just now, I still feel so down. Very down. And it seems like, the more I try to forget or ignore things or just put everything aside for now, at least, the more I become down and that's not healthy Illa. So not healthy.
I'm still sneezing. Not enough sleep perhaps? 2 hours of sleep yesterday and with Introduction to finish, obviously I can only sleep in the wee hours. Ergh. So fucked up sia. So not me.
[Girls, I hope you guys understand why I didn't upload the pictures today. I am very very busy with school stuffs. Just like you guys. Tomorrow? (:]
Shafiqa, you know that guys come and go. Like assholes. And you cannot be constantly fooled by them. You must show them you are strong and you can live without them. I know it's hard baby but we've got your back. All you need to do is just reach out a hand and we'll be there for you. I love you very much babygirl. Takecare of yourself.
2:20 PM
On the 23rd of January, my heart felt a little at ease as some of my feelings towards him have been revealed and so was his. We indirectly said ‘I love you’ and at that moment I couldn’t stop myself to keep smiling like a moron. Matter fact, I’m still smiling now. He’s so sweet. You may be wondering, how the hell I know he was saying ‘I love you’ to me and how the hell he knows I was saying ‘I love you’ to him? Easy. He started off by saying he loves yoghurt. And I already knew what he was tryna’ say. Yoghurt means you. But not to spoil the surprise or whatever you call it, I replied that I loved Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. And in a nick of time, he replied, “I love yo*!!” and duh, I knew it already. So, to make me sound slow and bimbo-tic, I asked what ‘yo*’ was. Him: Nothing. :D
Illa: Okay ): You don’t want to tell me never mind.
Him: Yo*?
Illa: WHAT’S THAT? Tell me. My battery’s dying on me real soon.
Him: Haha. Uehem. *and duh, I know already but I acted as if I don’t know and then I ‘gave up’ and said that my battery was left with 3% and it was! So...* Me: It’s okay if you don’t wanna tell. My phone’s dying any minute now. Bye.
Him: Bye? Only?
Me: I*Y. (: bye.
Him: How do I contact you then? I*YT.
Me: I’ll text you if I already can(: And since then, I can’t stop grinning. But the ‘*’ can mean anything. It can mean I ‘hate’ you or I ‘love’ you or I ‘miss’ you and many more. But anything close to hate was definitely not in the list. Hopefully. Hehe. I hope like what I ever said last year, this is not just a temporary bliss.
Written on Saturday, January 23, 2010 @ 2:23 AM
sexy model sexy model cute model jambu minah happy family funny people candid baby fendy was pretending-.- speechless. hahah!
1:43 AM
Ohmygod. I can't hide this any longer. Somehow the emotions keep spinning out and I can't help myself but to melt and melt and melt every time I see him. Shucks. I feel so weak in the knees when he comes around and the best part is, he seems to know what I feel. As in, when I'm sad, he makes me smile. But not smile as in, I'm sad and when he comes around, I smile. It's like, I'm sad and he asked me why and he starts a conversation and that's when I'd smile.
Today, I was down. Real down. 2 reasons; heavy headache and him. I was like expecting him to know and that he'll talk to me somehow and I assumed he won't. But during break time, he texted me and I was so happy. Then I thought he didn't reply but when I went to the toilet, he texted me again. And this time, I was sooooo happy. Again. Then something even sweeter happened and I was even more happier and awww.. isn't he sweet? ^.^
See see. Omg, this has to stop. (I'm still smiling to myself) And Affendy almost found out bout him! Because my handphone wallpaper is currently, mine and his picture(: That Affendy was so close to finding out sia. Naseb kau tak tau kalau tak, mati aku.
GO READ THE LYRICS TO FALLIN FOR YOU BY COLBIE CAILLAT AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M FEELING NOW(:
Written on Friday, January 22, 2010 @ 12:02 AM
Today, I realised that I have the most best of friends. And I am very thankful for that. My coughs are getting worser and my flu, you know how much I hate getting flu. Kay, hopefully tomorrow during Malay, we are gonna do the presentation. Like seriously, this is the first time I really want my group's presentation to be first.(:
Okay, so today, some chinese people and the malay people in class stayed back for spruce up. I admit, we left the class filthy because we were too tired to clean the class. And so, we decorated the class and all.
Did I forget to mention, I kinda love today alot. Because something happened. Yeah yeah yeah! (: Ok then, now.. let the pictures do the talking. (Pictures of me, real ugly because hello! i was sick and therefore too lazy to get pretty)
Ya Rabbi, decent nye muke suami aku! His ring + my hairband = PERFECT COUPLE UH! haha. kidding. Minah kecohsss. I was supposed to take this with my ex husband but nazrah came in. Nevermind(: I know, shaf pretty right! Kay, ni cute. This is somehow sweet, really. YAY! The now, scandals and used to be married(: The hug was nice but wrong timing laa, Fad! You ni. HAHAH! During PE, im so ooglay. ATIQA LAWAAA! flash -.- I LIKKEEE~ HEHE. I CAN'T WAIT FOR TOMORROW'S PRESENTATION!!!! (:
Written on Saturday, January 16, 2010 @ 2:49 AM
It's been decades since I had this much fun with my babygirls. Currently, chatting on MSN with Atiqa and Shafiqa. As well as Abang. We had our laughs and we had tears rolling down our cheeks. Abang is another story. So, leave him out first.
Initially, our plan yesterday (according to time), was to have lunch at KFC and then go teach Atiqa the steps for Joget Berhibur since she wasn't around on that day. Okay so the moment we finished eating was already 1hr plus. Then, we got to know Shafiqa was nearby so we asked her to join in and we ended up staying there till 4pm. School ended at 12.45. So do your Maths people!
After lunching, we felt the need to go home straight. Hehe. So Fateha, Atiqa, Shafiqa, Nazrah and I dispersed. Okay no, only Fateha - since she was going the other way. We had so much fun laughing our asses off. Re-enacting the lame moments we had during out junior days. Then suddenly, Shafiqa and I didn't want to go home because seriously, there's nothing at home but to drool. So we sat at the bus stop for 10 minutes and started talking and laughing again until we reached a point where Atiqa and Nazrah almost peed in their pants. By the time Shafiqa already went home and Atiqa reached the opposite bus stop, Nazrah's and I took bus 28 and stopped opposite our flats. And then, dispersed. Atiqa and I did the slap slap snap kiss handshake like many times and we received many weird stares but who cares?
Okay so, at home did the usual stuffs. Took a nap, ate dinner, chat online. Mr. Bestie wasn't online): And Mr. Ex-Husband and I talked about the reason why I asked for a divorce and we ended up saying stupid stuffs. Haha. Then, invited Shafiqa to mine & Atiqa's convo and that's where all the fun begin. Then we were having loads of excitement when surely something would break it down. So each of us felt sad about our respective somethings and shared it among us. But because we didn't want to ruin the day of excitement, we put it aside and restart everything and damn, it was the best conversation I have ever had!
I don't know what's up with me but I seem to develop this unusual character inside of me. I'm starting to have unpredictable moodswings. Even I can't predict my mood until I felt it. At one moment, I'd laugh the loudest, cry tears of joy the hardest, sing the most and all. Then suddenly, start to scream at people, get angry, and all the mean stuffs.
Okay, despite the fact that I have a tight schedule tomorrow, I'm sill not sleeping. I guess I should end it right here or it will never come to an end. But a last note to the two cheerios who made my day and night today:
Shafiqa, even though you were sick, you still bothered to meet us up. And despite your love life problems, you still put a a smile for us. Babygirl, I know you're strong and I know you won't let anything bring you down. So let's stay cheerful like how we are today and you know we'll always be there for you. I know you feel sad, I'd be in the same boat as you are in when I face this kind of situations. But let's not allow the negative energy get in our way. Let's all be positive and happy. Okay? Love ya!
NurulAtiqa, yo whassup? Haha. My hump my hump my hump my hump. My boob my boob my boob. Your boob, I slap I slap. Check it out! Haha. Today was the most humorous day I have ever had in my entire life. The laughing made it hard for me to breathe, but in a good way. Even though our legs were aching, we still played catching like lil kiddos and thanks for being my laughig partner today. I still don't know what got me so high. Haha. Kita friend friend awak lah kay. Haha. Bohsia tol. Kecoh uh luu minah. Nanti aku smackdown kang. Haha. *winkwink* and babygirl, same goes to you. Guys like that ain't worth your time that's taking. Slap slap snap kiss. Love ya!
I'll post the pictures in multiply soon. Xoxo.
Written on Friday, January 15, 2010 @ 11:31 PM
So currently, I'm texting Mr. Bestie (Acap) and Mr. Spaghetti Boy (Irfan). Chatting with Mr. Birthday Boy (Fadick), Mr. Late Night Friend (Hazir), Ms. Twinnie (Shaffy), Ms. Princess (Iqa), Mr. Mario (Sya) and Ms. Let's-Dance-The-Wrong-Steps-Together-And-Get-Scolded-Together (Ulfah). Listening to Vierra's songs. And watching television. So it's like, I'm multi-tasking.
I feel like a loner okay. I'm like totally busy with my own stuffs now. Haha. I'll upload the pictures of me and my new hair soon okay? Promise. And the unfortunate, they seem to love me so much. I was really excited for tomorrow's dance practice when suddenly I have to leave early to attend the Anita Sarawak Concert to help my Aunt usher the guests. Ok lah, quite honored cause I got the backstage pass. But I want to go for the dance and meet Izzathy! Which happens to be my junior. Hehe. Cool eh, da ade species sendiri pat school(:
Okaylah, I think that's all I want to say. I have nothing to say like seriously. Totall speechless. But to my beloved ex-husband who I only married for 2 years, Muhammad Fadhli, Happy Birthday and may you have the best birthday ever. Love love love ya! :D
Written on Wednesday, January 13, 2010 @ 6:44 PM
I'm totally enjoying my solitude as you can see. Hehe. No boys baby! Yessah. At last. All time to me, myself and I. I just got back from malay dance. Yes, malay dance. Hehe. And to all the Sec Ones who came for the attachment earlier on, hopefully you had fun and also put us as priority in that CCA list. Cause we seniors promise to give you the best(:
Izzathy, Liyana and Liya, please please please join Malay Dance kay. Especially Izzathy. I know you know why. Haha.
Okay, guess what? I forgot to go to the Needlework Room to take my Task Analysis just now. I am dead duck! Ahhhh, fuck. Nevermind, I'll re-do everything and that's exactly what I've been doing since I came back from school. Hehe. Good girl much?
I've got nothing much to say today. I think I'm going to start to tweet again. Baby Asyraf is hugging my leg -.- I haven't ate today and for dinner, I'm waiting for Big Sissy to come back then we eat together. Oh and btw, I permed my hair(:
TATA.
Written on Sunday, January 10, 2010 @ 1:56 AM
Me thinks me in love.. not.
I suddenly miss the feeling to be loved and to love someone. To know a total stranger which then turns out to be someone you're interested in. Someone your type. Someone who understands you and most of all, someone who loves you for who you are. Someone not so goody too shoes but at the same time not to wild. Anyone wants to be my part time boyfriend? Haha. NO, never mind. Kidding. Haha.
And apparently, someone left me standing by the side of a deserted road. I don't even know if I have a boyfriend now! Haha. But really, even if he is, I think it's better we call it off. There's seriously nothing between us! That was all.. I don't know what to say. I don't know what's up with me these days.
But like I said, this year is going to be an important year as I will be sitting for my GCE N Levels, so I will not let anything distract me form my studies. Let's just mingle around for now. Finding a boyfriend can happen anytime after the N Levels are done. Right?
Furthermore, I want a boyfriend. But between you & I, if commitment is what you're looking for in a girl, stay away from me. Unless you're like so in love with me that you want to prove you can change me somehow. But this no-commitment Illa realized that she wasn't really committed to every single boyfriend she has starting from Akhbar because she suddenly doesn't feel the need to commit anymore after whatever that happened to her because when she loves someone whole-heartedly, that guy would in the end leave her by the trash. And to be honest, I haven't had a boyfriend since August last year. So that makes Akhbar my last boyfriend. Illa's single! Not just single for weeks but months! Omg, what a news. Haha. But I'm happy with life. Like seriously(:
I'll update again if I feel bored. But if I don't, that means I'm either too busy chatting or on the phone with some guy(haha!) or textinging or sleeping or watching tv or eating(hehe!) or plainly just waiting for the light blue colour of the sky come tapping on my window.
1:16 AM
Babems, guess what was my schedule last Friday(according to time)? Remember I told you I was in the Indian Occupation thing and I slept at 4 in the morning? At last minute, I didn't attend school because I wanted to see my late niece corpse for the last time. I badly wanted to see her again. And you know, before we kebumikan, we must make sure we clean her well. So after cleaning her gently - she was really fragile that her hand can be folded into 4, I was asked to carry her to the death bed. And so, I did. I cried too. Here's the story:
Remember Abang A'an & Cik Mya? Cik Mya was in her 6th month of pregnancy and she went for screening. The doctor found no movements and concluded that the baby passed away. And he was right. The baby's umbilical cord was twisted that the baby couldn't receive oxygen and therefore passed away. It was such a tragic. Cik Mya, as a soon-to-be mother who was of course excited to have a baby, got really depressed and cried for days. The baby was really small. The size of your palm but a little longer by 10 cm. And her legs were as small as your pinkie finger. Before we see her for the last time, we took turn to kiss her little forehead. Although she wasn't fully develop, she was adorable. Talking about this now make me wanna cry again. Hope she's fine up there by the angels whose now taking care of her. And really, I love her. So much. Al-fatehah.
Amin.
Ok, pressing on. Yesterday(according to time), was the Secondary 1 Orientation and it was awesome! Purbanira Seni, I am back! Hehe. Okay, what else should I talk about? Oh yes, Shafiqa. She's really sad now. The thoughts of me not being by her side when she needs us makes me real guilty. Babe, I'm sorry. But I still love you and I'd do whatever it takes to make you happy. Cheer up. Guys like that ain't worth your tears.
Just minutes ago, the family suddenly craved for ice-cream. Luckily, 7-11 is just under the void deck so we bought different types of ice-creams and brought home and started feasting on eat. And I did some little paste-ons for the spruce up. I'm not done yet, though. I still got like, 20 more to go! Haha. Pathetic.
Oh! And not to forget, I was promoted to the next level in SW. Yes! I'm shocked it only took me half a year. Alhamdulillah. I hope I'm as good in my studies. Hehe.
Written on Friday, January 8, 2010 @ 2:08 AM
Just to let you guys know, I was just released from an internment. Nazrah & I were detained in the MSN to do our projects. How torturing. And Andrew was executed for being anti-Indian. And he'll face more when he meets the devil namely Siti and Syakilah in hell. Okay, I just finished my English Project and I swear we took more than 6 hours sticking out butts on the chair tryna' solve every fucking question. Now, we are like copying the scripts done by me, and fuck, my backbone's still aching from the trip to Temasek Poly. The bags were fucking heavy and we had to carry it around. Thank god we met Han Chong, or else we wouldn't even get a rest.
We took a Total Defence Picture and they printed it out for us each one. The picture had pretty people in it. Obviously. Haha. Nah, it's just a very sweet picture(:
Just now, I had to make a speech on what I would like to see myself achieving by the end of year 2010. And I guess it went pretty well. Alhamdulillah. Tomorrow, there'll be malay dance and fuck yeah! I lost 3kg :D Hehe.
We had some complications halfway but whatever. I don't blame anyone. It's neither of our faults. But to make it fair, at least apologize cause I remembered Atiqa saying sorry on our behalf. And it just wasn't fair to indirectly say that it was partly our fault when we started nothing. Neglecting you was the last thing we'd do. And you know we won't do that. Sometimes, I feel that you want everything to be the way you want it to be. Like you're right and you know everything. I don't have a problem with that but c'mon, this? It's way too childish. And it's even more childish to say it's not your fault but indirectly pointing fingers to us. Well, maybe you said we didn't notice us neglecting you but what if we said, you didn't notice you blaming us for this misunderstanding. Will you accept that fact? And what happened to the wise girl who once said, "you trust other's words more than your friends'?" And constantly picking on me, you gotta stop that. I have never had any hard feelings or feeling offended whenever your around. Quit thinking that way. You may have problems communicating with your family, but it's different with us. It's heartbreaking to know the truth about you and yes, it's also heartbreaking to hear negative things about oneself. But as friends, we're just saying. Maybe it's for your own good. Don't take too much to the heart.
I'm tired from the Indian Occupation. I'm waiting for Nazrah to finish copying the script and I can already go to bed. Good night.
Written on Tuesday, January 5, 2010 @ 10:58 PM
It’s been 5 good days since the new year and still I haven’t wished my invisible readers a happy new year. So here I am, using this opportunity to wish all of you a very belated happy new year(: School has been fine. I can’t say I’m improving in my studies cause it’s just 2 freaking days since it started. Haha. So far, I didn’t drool and everything was handed in on time. No invalid reasons. Heh. This year mau relek uh eh. Skirt pendek smer da tak main wei. Haha. Apart from knowing that my ‘brother’ is going to be sentenced to jail for I don’t know how many years, I was fucking sad to see myself flop like one sack of fucking dunk in my Malay. I dropped to Normal Academic Malay. And in a nick of time, my hopes to qualifying for my GCE O Levels were utterly crashed. My Malay was the only hope. And that hope has already died down. Now, it’s just me and Maths Maths Maths. I didn’t let the fact that I dropped to Normal Academic Malay ruin my year though. I forcefully let out a smile and well, it turns out pretty good. It doesn’t make any difference, does it? I’m still learning Malay, only thing I’m not taking my GCE O Level Malay this year. Somehow, other stuff got me tearing away. K no, just sad. Shan’t elaborate. We headed to KFC (near Tampines Mall) for a second time lunch. Excluding me. I didn’t eat in school. I also didn’t eat at KFC. I just haven’t got the mood. Hmm… Okay suddenly, I forgot that I had to redeem my $200 cheque from the General Office and therefore, I had to go back to school. Everyone was busy eating. So at first, I had no company. So I made some calls and finally, Mr Spaghetti Boy was kind enough to accompany me. He’s still a pain in the ass, though. Okay, went to school, took the cheque and when I was about to sign for evidence that I already redeemed my cheque, clever Sister called and goddamn it, the phone rang so loud that the principal asked whose phone was ringing. I quickly answered it and said wait. Tsk. Ok then, Mr Spaghetti Boy and I met Sister and her Baby Nashrun outside school and we walked to Tampine Mart for I don’t know what reason then finally felt the need to go back home. So, my Sister, being the hardworking one, decided to walk. And so, we walked. Sister walked with her loverboy while I walk with Mr Pain in the Ass. Grr. I was tortured by him. Heh. He was so irritating that when he showed me his boxers, I said, “don’t make me give you a wedgie.” Ok, something like that. So he still did it and so, I’m a lady of my words. I pulled his boxers and guess what he did? He ‘strangled’ me. It was supposed to be pain at first but I laughed cause it’s ticklish. Then, I boxed his stomach. But I don’t think he felt anything. -.- Then he took my hand and gave it a twist, fuuuuuuuuuck. Oh yea, this is warrrr. Okay then, somebody said that I looked sweet with somebody. What the hell. Hahaha. So not matching at all. I don’t even like him siaaa. Okay speechless bye^^
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Written on Sunday, January 31, 2010 @ 2:05 PM
On Monday morning, there’ll be a ‘meet up’. A love ‘meet up’. But not a date. We’ve been indirectly contacting for close to 1 month and like finally, he confessed. Y’know, I am very lucky to have or get the guys I like. But at the same time, I feel sad. I don’t understand the term commitment anymore. I really want it back. And hopefully, this would make me commit. I don’t blame anyone for this. The commitment. It’s my fault I fell too hard for guy A and then dropped too quickly for guy B. And in a nick of time, we were already in a relationship. It’s like, we barely contacted and then we started being serious. So, it was really weird at first. With our history known. Still, he likes me for who I am. Some people already know about this. And I seriously wanna keep this down low. So to the persons who knows about this: please please please keep this to yourselves. It was funny though. The way he confessed. Haha. Cute. SW practice was fine. We finished the first routine of all 9 wajib basics. And we’re halfway done to the 2nd routine. Next week’s schedule has already been planned and totally tight. Dead busy. I have nothing else to say. Oh yes! I cried yesterday. (: Shan’t remind myself about it again. Or I’ll break down – again.
Written on Wednesday, January 27, 2010 @ 12:15 AM
I'm glad that Shafiqa babygirl has recovered from her sad feeling. Right? I'm happy for you baby. Today's task are:
i. English Assignment (barely completed) ii. TA and Introduction (COMPLETED)
School's getting tougher nowadays. I am so stressed and fucked up. With CCA and ASP going on, it's like we always reach home around 5 to 6 along with our tons of homeworks expected to be submitted the following day. Yes, we need naps and all. So that's what most of us babygirls do, go home, refresh and take a nap. And at around 8, we start doing our drills. And that's so tiring. Really.
Currently chatting with Mr. Spaghetti Boy and Shafiqa. Atiqa just left because she was tired. Tomorrow, we're gonna start the day with a spot check. Hopefully, not a thorough one. See, unlucky things are starting to come our way. Babygirls, it's time to deal with these challenges together yeah?
I found today's bio lesson fun. Not because of the video but because I felt a sense of achievement and pride when I knew how to answered my test questions. I felt so clever. Haha! Okay, right after the test, we begin a new chapter. Reproduction in Female. And so, Ms Maybelline Tan showed us a video on how a zygote is formed and all. And there's this part where the video showed us the woman's breast developing during pregnancy. And there's this sex scene which Ms Tan skipped a little. The guys obviously got excited. Haha. But the girls felt so, showcased. Haha! Okay, enough about sex and boobs and ladies.
I am now chatting with Shafiqa, Ayie and Adi. Mr. Spaghetti Boy went missing. Oh maan, tomorrow I'm not gonna be alive. ); Shaffy knows why.
Written on Tuesday, January 26, 2010 @ 8:48 AM
Ok people. Today Atiqa, Shafiqa and I telah ditiup oleh angin sial. Early in the morning after the national anthem, Atiqa was caught for her anklet and I was caught for my hair and then we were caught for our skirts. SHORT? Fcuk, are you blind or what!? Then, some oldies, you know, likes to get themselves involved. So they gave us a lecture on how to be good girls. With hair all tied neatly, pinned up and wear long skirts. So we tied our hair back and she asked me to comb my newly permed hair. How can I? Then, tak pasal2 rambut rosak -.- Then, we we lectured about why we must dress neatly because there is no one to attract here in school. It's a school, not a fashion show! So, one by one, we got pissed off.
Obviously, we totally lost the mood for school today. Well, I know my skirt ain't short! And now, instead of doing our courseworks, we decided not to pay attention and be rebellious. Ahh fcuk uh, totally lost my mood sia. So bloggy, count yourself lucky. (:
I am having an upset tummy and I am sooooo not looking forward to Malay class. You know, I know why. Okla, the teacher seems to be nagging more the more we neglect her. So to ask her to zip it, I'll do my work. A little, at least. Hehe.
And teacher, quit comparing you _____!
Written on Monday, January 25, 2010 @ 9:11 PM
Well, it is just a temporary bliss. I messed up everything. Today is upsetting. I am so stressed and so depressed. Tasks for today are to complete these few things:
i. English assignment [i left it in the English file!] ii. Introduction & check TA again [doing] iii. Revise Biology for tomorrow's test [completed]
Many things are like running in my mind now. I can't keep my focus on these tasks. I need something to help me forget! But how?
Even after laughing my ass off with the babygirls while eating KFC just now, I still feel so down. Very down. And it seems like, the more I try to forget or ignore things or just put everything aside for now, at least, the more I become down and that's not healthy Illa. So not healthy.
I'm still sneezing. Not enough sleep perhaps? 2 hours of sleep yesterday and with Introduction to finish, obviously I can only sleep in the wee hours. Ergh. So fucked up sia. So not me.
[Girls, I hope you guys understand why I didn't upload the pictures today. I am very very busy with school stuffs. Just like you guys. Tomorrow? (:]
Shafiqa, you know that guys come and go. Like assholes. And you cannot be constantly fooled by them. You must show them you are strong and you can live without them. I know it's hard baby but we've got your back. All you need to do is just reach out a hand and we'll be there for you. I love you very much babygirl. Takecare of yourself.
2:20 PM
On the 23rd of January, my heart felt a little at ease as some of my feelings towards him have been revealed and so was his. We indirectly said ‘I love you’ and at that moment I couldn’t stop myself to keep smiling like a moron. Matter fact, I’m still smiling now. He’s so sweet. You may be wondering, how the hell I know he was saying ‘I love you’ to me and how the hell he knows I was saying ‘I love you’ to him? Easy. He started off by saying he loves yoghurt. And I already knew what he was tryna’ say. Yoghurt means you. But not to spoil the surprise or whatever you call it, I replied that I loved Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. And in a nick of time, he replied, “I love yo*!!” and duh, I knew it already. So, to make me sound slow and bimbo-tic, I asked what ‘yo*’ was. Him: Nothing. :D
Illa: Okay ): You don’t want to tell me never mind.
Him: Yo*?
Illa: WHAT’S THAT? Tell me. My battery’s dying on me real soon.
Him: Haha. Uehem. *and duh, I know already but I acted as if I don’t know and then I ‘gave up’ and said that my battery was left with 3% and it was! So...* Me: It’s okay if you don’t wanna tell. My phone’s dying any minute now. Bye.
Him: Bye? Only?
Me: I*Y. (: bye.
Him: How do I contact you then? I*YT.
Me: I’ll text you if I already can(: And since then, I can’t stop grinning. But the ‘*’ can mean anything. It can mean I ‘hate’ you or I ‘love’ you or I ‘miss’ you and many more. But anything close to hate was definitely not in the list. Hopefully. Hehe. I hope like what I ever said last year, this is not just a temporary bliss.
Written on Saturday, January 23, 2010 @ 2:23 AM
sexy model sexy model cute model jambu minah happy family funny people candid baby fendy was pretending-.- speechless. hahah!
1:43 AM
Ohmygod. I can't hide this any longer. Somehow the emotions keep spinning out and I can't help myself but to melt and melt and melt every time I see him. Shucks. I feel so weak in the knees when he comes around and the best part is, he seems to know what I feel. As in, when I'm sad, he makes me smile. But not smile as in, I'm sad and when he comes around, I smile. It's like, I'm sad and he asked me why and he starts a conversation and that's when I'd smile.
Today, I was down. Real down. 2 reasons; heavy headache and him. I was like expecting him to know and that he'll talk to me somehow and I assumed he won't. But during break time, he texted me and I was so happy. Then I thought he didn't reply but when I went to the toilet, he texted me again. And this time, I was sooooo happy. Again. Then something even sweeter happened and I was even more happier and awww.. isn't he sweet? ^.^
See see. Omg, this has to stop. (I'm still smiling to myself) And Affendy almost found out bout him! Because my handphone wallpaper is currently, mine and his picture(: That Affendy was so close to finding out sia. Naseb kau tak tau kalau tak, mati aku.
GO READ THE LYRICS TO FALLIN FOR YOU BY COLBIE CAILLAT AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M FEELING NOW(:
Written on Friday, January 22, 2010 @ 12:02 AM
Today, I realised that I have the most best of friends. And I am very thankful for that. My coughs are getting worser and my flu, you know how much I hate getting flu. Kay, hopefully tomorrow during Malay, we are gonna do the presentation. Like seriously, this is the first time I really want my group's presentation to be first.(:
Okay, so today, some chinese people and the malay people in class stayed back for spruce up. I admit, we left the class filthy because we were too tired to clean the class. And so, we decorated the class and all.
Did I forget to mention, I kinda love today alot. Because something happened. Yeah yeah yeah! (: Ok then, now.. let the pictures do the talking. (Pictures of me, real ugly because hello! i was sick and therefore too lazy to get pretty)
Ya Rabbi, decent nye muke suami aku! His ring + my hairband = PERFECT COUPLE UH! haha. kidding. Minah kecohsss. I was supposed to take this with my ex husband but nazrah came in. Nevermind(: I know, shaf pretty right! Kay, ni cute. This is somehow sweet, really. YAY! The now, scandals and used to be married(: The hug was nice but wrong timing laa, Fad! You ni. HAHAH! During PE, im so ooglay. ATIQA LAWAAA! flash -.- I LIKKEEE~ HEHE. I CAN'T WAIT FOR TOMORROW'S PRESENTATION!!!! (:
Written on Saturday, January 16, 2010 @ 2:49 AM
It's been decades since I had this much fun with my babygirls. Currently, chatting on MSN with Atiqa and Shafiqa. As well as Abang. We had our laughs and we had tears rolling down our cheeks. Abang is another story. So, leave him out first.
Initially, our plan yesterday (according to time), was to have lunch at KFC and then go teach Atiqa the steps for Joget Berhibur since she wasn't around on that day. Okay so the moment we finished eating was already 1hr plus. Then, we got to know Shafiqa was nearby so we asked her to join in and we ended up staying there till 4pm. School ended at 12.45. So do your Maths people!
After lunching, we felt the need to go home straight. Hehe. So Fateha, Atiqa, Shafiqa, Nazrah and I dispersed. Okay no, only Fateha - since she was going the other way. We had so much fun laughing our asses off. Re-enacting the lame moments we had during out junior days. Then suddenly, Shafiqa and I didn't want to go home because seriously, there's nothing at home but to drool. So we sat at the bus stop for 10 minutes and started talking and laughing again until we reached a point where Atiqa and Nazrah almost peed in their pants. By the time Shafiqa already went home and Atiqa reached the opposite bus stop, Nazrah's and I took bus 28 and stopped opposite our flats. And then, dispersed. Atiqa and I did the slap slap snap kiss handshake like many times and we received many weird stares but who cares?
Okay so, at home did the usual stuffs. Took a nap, ate dinner, chat online. Mr. Bestie wasn't online): And Mr. Ex-Husband and I talked about the reason why I asked for a divorce and we ended up saying stupid stuffs. Haha. Then, invited Shafiqa to mine & Atiqa's convo and that's where all the fun begin. Then we were having loads of excitement when surely something would break it down. So each of us felt sad about our respective somethings and shared it among us. But because we didn't want to ruin the day of excitement, we put it aside and restart everything and damn, it was the best conversation I have ever had!
I don't know what's up with me but I seem to develop this unusual character inside of me. I'm starting to have unpredictable moodswings. Even I can't predict my mood until I felt it. At one moment, I'd laugh the loudest, cry tears of joy the hardest, sing the most and all. Then suddenly, start to scream at people, get angry, and all the mean stuffs.
Okay, despite the fact that I have a tight schedule tomorrow, I'm sill not sleeping. I guess I should end it right here or it will never come to an end. But a last note to the two cheerios who made my day and night today:
Shafiqa, even though you were sick, you still bothered to meet us up. And despite your love life problems, you still put a a smile for us. Babygirl, I know you're strong and I know you won't let anything bring you down. So let's stay cheerful like how we are today and you know we'll always be there for you. I know you feel sad, I'd be in the same boat as you are in when I face this kind of situations. But let's not allow the negative energy get in our way. Let's all be positive and happy. Okay? Love ya!
NurulAtiqa, yo whassup? Haha. My hump my hump my hump my hump. My boob my boob my boob. Your boob, I slap I slap. Check it out! Haha. Today was the most humorous day I have ever had in my entire life. The laughing made it hard for me to breathe, but in a good way. Even though our legs were aching, we still played catching like lil kiddos and thanks for being my laughig partner today. I still don't know what got me so high. Haha. Kita friend friend awak lah kay. Haha. Bohsia tol. Kecoh uh luu minah. Nanti aku smackdown kang. Haha. *winkwink* and babygirl, same goes to you. Guys like that ain't worth your time that's taking. Slap slap snap kiss. Love ya!
I'll post the pictures in multiply soon. Xoxo.
Written on Friday, January 15, 2010 @ 11:31 PM
So currently, I'm texting Mr. Bestie (Acap) and Mr. Spaghetti Boy (Irfan). Chatting with Mr. Birthday Boy (Fadick), Mr. Late Night Friend (Hazir), Ms. Twinnie (Shaffy), Ms. Princess (Iqa), Mr. Mario (Sya) and Ms. Let's-Dance-The-Wrong-Steps-Together-And-Get-Scolded-Together (Ulfah). Listening to Vierra's songs. And watching television. So it's like, I'm multi-tasking.
I feel like a loner okay. I'm like totally busy with my own stuffs now. Haha. I'll upload the pictures of me and my new hair soon okay? Promise. And the unfortunate, they seem to love me so much. I was really excited for tomorrow's dance practice when suddenly I have to leave early to attend the Anita Sarawak Concert to help my Aunt usher the guests. Ok lah, quite honored cause I got the backstage pass. But I want to go for the dance and meet Izzathy! Which happens to be my junior. Hehe. Cool eh, da ade species sendiri pat school(:
Okaylah, I think that's all I want to say. I have nothing to say like seriously. Totall speechless. But to my beloved ex-husband who I only married for 2 years, Muhammad Fadhli, Happy Birthday and may you have the best birthday ever. Love love love ya! :D
Written on Wednesday, January 13, 2010 @ 6:44 PM
I'm totally enjoying my solitude as you can see. Hehe. No boys baby! Yessah. At last. All time to me, myself and I. I just got back from malay dance. Yes, malay dance. Hehe. And to all the Sec Ones who came for the attachment earlier on, hopefully you had fun and also put us as priority in that CCA list. Cause we seniors promise to give you the best(:
Izzathy, Liyana and Liya, please please please join Malay Dance kay. Especially Izzathy. I know you know why. Haha.
Okay, guess what? I forgot to go to the Needlework Room to take my Task Analysis just now. I am dead duck! Ahhhh, fuck. Nevermind, I'll re-do everything and that's exactly what I've been doing since I came back from school. Hehe. Good girl much?
I've got nothing much to say today. I think I'm going to start to tweet again. Baby Asyraf is hugging my leg -.- I haven't ate today and for dinner, I'm waiting for Big Sissy to come back then we eat together. Oh and btw, I permed my hair(:
TATA.
Written on Sunday, January 10, 2010 @ 1:56 AM
Me thinks me in love.. not.
I suddenly miss the feeling to be loved and to love someone. To know a total stranger which then turns out to be someone you're interested in. Someone your type. Someone who understands you and most of all, someone who loves you for who you are. Someone not so goody too shoes but at the same time not to wild. Anyone wants to be my part time boyfriend? Haha. NO, never mind. Kidding. Haha.
And apparently, someone left me standing by the side of a deserted road. I don't even know if I have a boyfriend now! Haha. But really, even if he is, I think it's better we call it off. There's seriously nothing between us! That was all.. I don't know what to say. I don't know what's up with me these days.
But like I said, this year is going to be an important year as I will be sitting for my GCE N Levels, so I will not let anything distract me form my studies. Let's just mingle around for now. Finding a boyfriend can happen anytime after the N Levels are done. Right?
Furthermore, I want a boyfriend. But between you & I, if commitment is what you're looking for in a girl, stay away from me. Unless you're like so in love with me that you want to prove you can change me somehow. But this no-commitment Illa realized that she wasn't really committed to every single boyfriend she has starting from Akhbar because she suddenly doesn't feel the need to commit anymore after whatever that happened to her because when she loves someone whole-heartedly, that guy would in the end leave her by the trash. And to be honest, I haven't had a boyfriend since August last year. So that makes Akhbar my last boyfriend. Illa's single! Not just single for weeks but months! Omg, what a news. Haha. But I'm happy with life. Like seriously(:
I'll update again if I feel bored. But if I don't, that means I'm either too busy chatting or on the phone with some guy(haha!) or textinging or sleeping or watching tv or eating(hehe!) or plainly just waiting for the light blue colour of the sky come tapping on my window.
1:16 AM
Babems, guess what was my schedule last Friday(according to time)? Remember I told you I was in the Indian Occupation thing and I slept at 4 in the morning? At last minute, I didn't attend school because I wanted to see my late niece corpse for the last time. I badly wanted to see her again. And you know, before we kebumikan, we must make sure we clean her well. So after cleaning her gently - she was really fragile that her hand can be folded into 4, I was asked to carry her to the death bed. And so, I did. I cried too. Here's the story:
Remember Abang A'an & Cik Mya? Cik Mya was in her 6th month of pregnancy and she went for screening. The doctor found no movements and concluded that the baby passed away. And he was right. The baby's umbilical cord was twisted that the baby couldn't receive oxygen and therefore passed away. It was such a tragic. Cik Mya, as a soon-to-be mother who was of course excited to have a baby, got really depressed and cried for days. The baby was really small. The size of your palm but a little longer by 10 cm. And her legs were as small as your pinkie finger. Before we see her for the last time, we took turn to kiss her little forehead. Although she wasn't fully develop, she was adorable. Talking about this now make me wanna cry again. Hope she's fine up there by the angels whose now taking care of her. And really, I love her. So much. Al-fatehah.
Amin.
Ok, pressing on. Yesterday(according to time), was the Secondary 1 Orientation and it was awesome! Purbanira Seni, I am back! Hehe. Okay, what else should I talk about? Oh yes, Shafiqa. She's really sad now. The thoughts of me not being by her side when she needs us makes me real guilty. Babe, I'm sorry. But I still love you and I'd do whatever it takes to make you happy. Cheer up. Guys like that ain't worth your tears.
Just minutes ago, the family suddenly craved for ice-cream. Luckily, 7-11 is just under the void deck so we bought different types of ice-creams and brought home and started feasting on eat. And I did some little paste-ons for the spruce up. I'm not done yet, though. I still got like, 20 more to go! Haha. Pathetic.
Oh! And not to forget, I was promoted to the next level in SW. Yes! I'm shocked it only took me half a year. Alhamdulillah. I hope I'm as good in my studies. Hehe.
Written on Friday, January 8, 2010 @ 2:08 AM
Just to let you guys know, I was just released from an internment. Nazrah & I were detained in the MSN to do our projects. How torturing. And Andrew was executed for being anti-Indian. And he'll face more when he meets the devil namely Siti and Syakilah in hell. Okay, I just finished my English Project and I swear we took more than 6 hours sticking out butts on the chair tryna' solve every fucking question. Now, we are like copying the scripts done by me, and fuck, my backbone's still aching from the trip to Temasek Poly. The bags were fucking heavy and we had to carry it around. Thank god we met Han Chong, or else we wouldn't even get a rest.
We took a Total Defence Picture and they printed it out for us each one. The picture had pretty people in it. Obviously. Haha. Nah, it's just a very sweet picture(:
Just now, I had to make a speech on what I would like to see myself achieving by the end of year 2010. And I guess it went pretty well. Alhamdulillah. Tomorrow, there'll be malay dance and fuck yeah! I lost 3kg :D Hehe.
We had some complications halfway but whatever. I don't blame anyone. It's neither of our faults. But to make it fair, at least apologize cause I remembered Atiqa saying sorry on our behalf. And it just wasn't fair to indirectly say that it was partly our fault when we started nothing. Neglecting you was the last thing we'd do. And you know we won't do that. Sometimes, I feel that you want everything to be the way you want it to be. Like you're right and you know everything. I don't have a problem with that but c'mon, this? It's way too childish. And it's even more childish to say it's not your fault but indirectly pointing fingers to us. Well, maybe you said we didn't notice us neglecting you but what if we said, you didn't notice you blaming us for this misunderstanding. Will you accept that fact? And what happened to the wise girl who once said, "you trust other's words more than your friends'?" And constantly picking on me, you gotta stop that. I have never had any hard feelings or feeling offended whenever your around. Quit thinking that way. You may have problems communicating with your family, but it's different with us. It's heartbreaking to know the truth about you and yes, it's also heartbreaking to hear negative things about oneself. But as friends, we're just saying. Maybe it's for your own good. Don't take too much to the heart.
I'm tired from the Indian Occupation. I'm waiting for Nazrah to finish copying the script and I can already go to bed. Good night.
Written on Tuesday, January 5, 2010 @ 10:58 PM
It’s been 5 good days since the new year and still I haven’t wished my invisible readers a happy new year. So here I am, using this opportunity to wish all of you a very belated happy new year(: School has been fine. I can’t say I’m improving in my studies cause it’s just 2 freaking days since it started. Haha. So far, I didn’t drool and everything was handed in on time. No invalid reasons. Heh. This year mau relek uh eh. Skirt pendek smer da tak main wei. Haha. Apart from knowing that my ‘brother’ is going to be sentenced to jail for I don’t know how many years, I was fucking sad to see myself flop like one sack of fucking dunk in my Malay. I dropped to Normal Academic Malay. And in a nick of time, my hopes to qualifying for my GCE O Levels were utterly crashed. My Malay was the only hope. And that hope has already died down. Now, it’s just me and Maths Maths Maths. I didn’t let the fact that I dropped to Normal Academic Malay ruin my year though. I forcefully let out a smile and well, it turns out pretty good. It doesn’t make any difference, does it? I’m still learning Malay, only thing I’m not taking my GCE O Level Malay this year. Somehow, other stuff got me tearing away. K no, just sad. Shan’t elaborate. We headed to KFC (near Tampines Mall) for a second time lunch. Excluding me. I didn’t eat in school. I also didn’t eat at KFC. I just haven’t got the mood. Hmm… Okay suddenly, I forgot that I had to redeem my $200 cheque from the General Office and therefore, I had to go back to school. Everyone was busy eating. So at first, I had no company. So I made some calls and finally, Mr Spaghetti Boy was kind enough to accompany me. He’s still a pain in the ass, though. Okay, went to school, took the cheque and when I was about to sign for evidence that I already redeemed my cheque, clever Sister called and goddamn it, the phone rang so loud that the principal asked whose phone was ringing. I quickly answered it and said wait. Tsk. Ok then, Mr Spaghetti Boy and I met Sister and her Baby Nashrun outside school and we walked to Tampine Mart for I don’t know what reason then finally felt the need to go back home. So, my Sister, being the hardworking one, decided to walk. And so, we walked. Sister walked with her loverboy while I walk with Mr Pain in the Ass. Grr. I was tortured by him. Heh. He was so irritating that when he showed me his boxers, I said, “don’t make me give you a wedgie.” Ok, something like that. So he still did it and so, I’m a lady of my words. I pulled his boxers and guess what he did? He ‘strangled’ me. It was supposed to be pain at first but I laughed cause it’s ticklish. Then, I boxed his stomach. But I don’t think he felt anything. -.- Then he took my hand and gave it a twist, fuuuuuuuuuck. Oh yea, this is warrrr. Okay then, somebody said that I looked sweet with somebody. What the hell. Hahaha. So not matching at all. I don’t even like him siaaa. Okay speechless bye^^
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In random order.
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Hello human beings. My name is Illa Syakilah and I am not a terrorist.
Hehe. I can't seem to get over that quote since I watched the movie "My name is Khan."
I am coming sixteen this July 25 and I'm seriously not excited.
I'll be sitting for my GCE N Levels this year, and hopefully (very little chance, though) I'll qualify for Sec 5.
Maybe for now, you'll have fun teasing me but keep in mind that everyone has limits. And don't ever think of going over mine.
I am single and I don't wish to be unavailable because I believe that love comes naturally when it's the right time.
Honestly, since the last time I ever got into a relationship, I realised that I'm kinda lethargic when it comes to love but whatever.
The right one will fall not only for my perfection but also my flaws, right? Yeah :D
My interest lies in Performing Arts. I have been dancing for close to 10 years and damn it, I want to learn more!
When I'm feeling down or high, this is basically what I'd do. Just that when I'm down, I don't do it in public.
I dance for Purbanira Seni (my school Malay Dance troupe) and Sri Warisan Som Said Performing Arts Ltd.
I'm not a professional YET. But one day, I'll be an awesome one. Yes ah! I have yet to cover contemporary and such. Heh.
I get dance routines from boredom or imagination. I'd literally think of steps in my head and when I'm done, I'd work it out with my body.
Sometimes, I'd dance randomly and I'll get steps. Basically, I love everything that has got to do with Performing Arts.
I miss Indian dancing when I was in Kindergarten. Oh, that makes it 11 years of dancing! Hehe.
I'm not shy to say that my favorite place that has ever existed is.. my bed. I'm not the only one right?
I love to hang out but this year, I kinda find it hard to even make time for my friends! I love Glee. It's so cool.
My favorite boyfriend is Percy Jackson AKA Logan Lerman. Yes! I love him. Haha. Justin Bieber, his voice makes me melt.
Megan Fox, Beyonce, Kara Dioguardi, Kelly Clarkson, Nicole Scherzinger, Jojo, Selena Gomez, Katy Perry, Jessica Alba & more. These are the people who never fail to make me love them.
Thank you for bothering to read, if you actually did, that is.
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Here I am
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
i promise.
I feel like our world's been infected.
Quick Update ♥
It was almost perfect ):
You still are. And I still am.
Let's just hope he'd read this.
Yes, that's true.
I am very exhausted
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