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Written on Sunday, April 17, 2011 @ 2:44 AM
Hey readers. Which I believe is now all gone.. As requested by Shafiqa, I'm gonna be updating about my life since July 2010. As bored as it sounds, nothing much really happened. Just the uncountable times of dates, stupid fights/misunderstandings/stress over social and school responsibilities. Other than that.. I'm totally fine. However, the situation in my family is not as before. Easy said, life is not as before. But let's put that aside and keep it a secret. 2010 went well for me. I passed my GCE N Levels and here I am now.. in Sec 5. And should I mention what I got for malay dance SYF this year? I think it's pretty much obvious. Hah, joke. Purbanira Seni got Gold. And hopefully for the following SYFs we're gonna maintain that gold or maybe get something even better *winks! The start of 2011 was truly memorable. The bond my babygirls and I had.. The moment where nobody could tear us apart. But since cheerleading, something went wrong somewhere. My ego, their misunderstanding? I don't know. So came this guy who I eventually got close to. And it seems like we're really close to a certain extent whereby we have no limits. And misunderstandings occured when I unconsciously spent most of my time with him. See, coincidentally, we live nearby. So we tend to go to school together. And go back home together too. And there was when all the misperceptions occured. After that.. things happened and the situation got slightly better. Everything was back in place. And then, he started to get pissed over something which I believe is a piece of paper where secrets and confessions were shared amongst the babygirls and I. Not only have I faced loss of my two precious girlfriends but a fellow friend of my had to face the consequences too. It was quite unreasonable. I, myself, was mad and confused at N and R for giving him the cold shoulders. Since that day, things were never the same. Some people may be cheering with joy to know the fact that Marissa & Atiqa are the only two bestfriends and I'm not one of them. I tried my best to put down my ego and loosen my time spent with N but things never changed. It was too late to make things work. Marissa now seemed to be more comfortable spilling secrets to the two Atiqas and I can do nothing bout it. Her life, her decisions, her choice. And furthermore, I'm tired of fighting and arguing over such things and its pretty childish when I come to think of it. Life goes on and I can't afford to cry over spilled milk. Although now, I may not know who my best friends are, I would like them to know that they were the best girls that ever entered my life and I cherished every second we spent together. So that's about it. My life with my friends. As for my love life. Like I said, uncountable dates. Things have been going fine until one day two guys from the past returned. It was good to know that I could make these guys laugh when they're down. Relieve them from all their problems. And surprisingly, they couldn't stay mad at me. Even when I was wrong. I feel special indeed. However, I wasn't ready to make a choice. Especially with O Levels coming around. So I make it a point to concentrate on my GCE O Levels first. Luck was unfortunately not on my side. After much pondering, I realised whatever happens.. I'm still gonna be the heartbreaker. 2 out of 3 of them will be heartbroken. And I'm so close to all of them, I couldn't possibly leave them just like that. Except that I kindda already ignored one of them so.. inofficially, I'm left with 2. Knowing that I am soooo close to N and knowing that F had waited 3 years without being into a relationship with other girls for me.. I feel so caught in between and I don't know what to do you see. The best part is, my heart is not saying anything and it's just not right. So for now, everything seemed really depressing for me and I just want things to get better. That's all I ever want for now.
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Written on Sunday, April 17, 2011 @ 2:44 AM
Hey readers. Which I believe is now all gone.. As requested by Shafiqa, I'm gonna be updating about my life since July 2010. As bored as it sounds, nothing much really happened. Just the uncountable times of dates, stupid fights/misunderstandings/stress over social and school responsibilities. Other than that.. I'm totally fine. However, the situation in my family is not as before. Easy said, life is not as before. But let's put that aside and keep it a secret. 2010 went well for me. I passed my GCE N Levels and here I am now.. in Sec 5. And should I mention what I got for malay dance SYF this year? I think it's pretty much obvious. Hah, joke. Purbanira Seni got Gold. And hopefully for the following SYFs we're gonna maintain that gold or maybe get something even better *winks! The start of 2011 was truly memorable. The bond my babygirls and I had.. The moment where nobody could tear us apart. But since cheerleading, something went wrong somewhere. My ego, their misunderstanding? I don't know. So came this guy who I eventually got close to. And it seems like we're really close to a certain extent whereby we have no limits. And misunderstandings occured when I unconsciously spent most of my time with him. See, coincidentally, we live nearby. So we tend to go to school together. And go back home together too. And there was when all the misperceptions occured. After that.. things happened and the situation got slightly better. Everything was back in place. And then, he started to get pissed over something which I believe is a piece of paper where secrets and confessions were shared amongst the babygirls and I. Not only have I faced loss of my two precious girlfriends but a fellow friend of my had to face the consequences too. It was quite unreasonable. I, myself, was mad and confused at N and R for giving him the cold shoulders. Since that day, things were never the same. Some people may be cheering with joy to know the fact that Marissa & Atiqa are the only two bestfriends and I'm not one of them. I tried my best to put down my ego and loosen my time spent with N but things never changed. It was too late to make things work. Marissa now seemed to be more comfortable spilling secrets to the two Atiqas and I can do nothing bout it. Her life, her decisions, her choice. And furthermore, I'm tired of fighting and arguing over such things and its pretty childish when I come to think of it. Life goes on and I can't afford to cry over spilled milk. Although now, I may not know who my best friends are, I would like them to know that they were the best girls that ever entered my life and I cherished every second we spent together. So that's about it. My life with my friends. As for my love life. Like I said, uncountable dates. Things have been going fine until one day two guys from the past returned. It was good to know that I could make these guys laugh when they're down. Relieve them from all their problems. And surprisingly, they couldn't stay mad at me. Even when I was wrong. I feel special indeed. However, I wasn't ready to make a choice. Especially with O Levels coming around. So I make it a point to concentrate on my GCE O Levels first. Luck was unfortunately not on my side. After much pondering, I realised whatever happens.. I'm still gonna be the heartbreaker. 2 out of 3 of them will be heartbroken. And I'm so close to all of them, I couldn't possibly leave them just like that. Except that I kindda already ignored one of them so.. inofficially, I'm left with 2. Knowing that I am soooo close to N and knowing that F had waited 3 years without being into a relationship with other girls for me.. I feel so caught in between and I don't know what to do you see. The best part is, my heart is not saying anything and it's just not right. So for now, everything seemed really depressing for me and I just want things to get better. That's all I ever want for now.
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In random order.
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Hello human beings. My name is Illa Syakilah and I am not a terrorist.
Hehe. I can't seem to get over that quote since I watched the movie "My name is Khan."
I am coming sixteen this July 25 and I'm seriously not excited.
I'll be sitting for my GCE N Levels this year, and hopefully (very little chance, though) I'll qualify for Sec 5.
Maybe for now, you'll have fun teasing me but keep in mind that everyone has limits. And don't ever think of going over mine.
I am single and I don't wish to be unavailable because I believe that love comes naturally when it's the right time.
Honestly, since the last time I ever got into a relationship, I realised that I'm kinda lethargic when it comes to love but whatever.
The right one will fall not only for my perfection but also my flaws, right? Yeah :D
My interest lies in Performing Arts. I have been dancing for close to 10 years and damn it, I want to learn more!
When I'm feeling down or high, this is basically what I'd do. Just that when I'm down, I don't do it in public.
I dance for Purbanira Seni (my school Malay Dance troupe) and Sri Warisan Som Said Performing Arts Ltd.
I'm not a professional YET. But one day, I'll be an awesome one. Yes ah! I have yet to cover contemporary and such. Heh.
I get dance routines from boredom or imagination. I'd literally think of steps in my head and when I'm done, I'd work it out with my body.
Sometimes, I'd dance randomly and I'll get steps. Basically, I love everything that has got to do with Performing Arts.
I miss Indian dancing when I was in Kindergarten. Oh, that makes it 11 years of dancing! Hehe.
I'm not shy to say that my favorite place that has ever existed is.. my bed. I'm not the only one right?
I love to hang out but this year, I kinda find it hard to even make time for my friends! I love Glee. It's so cool.
My favorite boyfriend is Percy Jackson AKA Logan Lerman. Yes! I love him. Haha. Justin Bieber, his voice makes me melt.
Megan Fox, Beyonce, Kara Dioguardi, Kelly Clarkson, Nicole Scherzinger, Jojo, Selena Gomez, Katy Perry, Jessica Alba & more. These are the people who never fail to make me love them.
Thank you for bothering to read, if you actually did, that is.
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http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
i promise.
I feel like our world's been infected.
Quick Update ♥
It was almost perfect ):
You still are. And I still am.
Let's just hope he'd read this.
Yes, that's true.
I am very exhausted
Am I really that bad?
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