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Written on Thursday, May 15, 2008 @ 3:00 PM
heyy. met, boyfy just now. reached home at 3.30+ pm(?).i got my results today. & i am so shocked. my malay actually flopped hell lots! what happen to me?
green means pass. red means fail.
English - 75/100
Maths - 40/100 (dont talk about it. paper 2 was hell hard. im dead serious. paper 1, passed)
History - 31/65 (which is 1.5m more to just passing! asshole. i studied this like theres no tmr!)
Geography - 64/100 (which i didn't even study & was damn weak at it. but, miracles :D)
Science - 51/100 (bad or what? i studied science like hell!)
MT - 49/100 (don't talk about it. i, myself, am freaked out!)
Home Econs - not yet
Art - 56/100 (:D)
oh, im so sick. i don't know how to lie to myself. i can't keep this feeling inside. but, i am also afraid to break it out. so how? for the pass few days. or maybe weeks. i have been thinking of stuffs. right here, im making a decision. but, i dont know if that person would face the fact.
its just not right. someday, somehow i gotta tell this to em. i certainly don't hate em. he/she is a nice person. & im not making a fool out of em. i swear, i am not that type. ok, i have to tell it to em. i know. but, for sure, not straight to the face cause its gonna break his/her heart, i guess. its like one-sided love. i don't know what to do.
do you really wanna know why i was in a bad mood?
seriously, its not because i was neglecting or avoiding you. man, i was really in a bad mood.
firstly when i got home, brother actually pissed me off. & for some reason, i went ballistic. what a nuisance. & for that, i got permission from ibu. but, brother was too spoiled by grandparents, they actually accused me of stuffs & called me a bad bad girl. which i don't accept. hey hello. everyone has their good & bad attitudes. you have no right to actually say im bad. because, you are equally the same! mind me. i am like that.
after that, something came up to my mind. then, i got so restless. so so restless, i cried. well, now i realised that my heart is not strong enough to love someone. i get easily in love & dumped. oh, how sad. how so sad. so lethargic, right? i know, this is me when it comes to love. so back to the crying part. i was sitting in front of the computer, thinking of a solution to this problem. but seriously, my mind went blank. it have been blank for the pass 2 days, i guess. & its so dump of me. then, kak ekah came into the picture & asked me to hang out with her a while. well, i got a bit delighted but i just wanna be alone. i just forced myself out the door & dragged my legs to her house. well, at least she cheered me up.
i came back home around 4.30 pm after that. then, my mind went blank again. & all i have to think of was a solution. damn it. i got back home & had a small argument with sister. at that moment, i just feel like throwing all the anger inside me to someone. just someone. i really dont know whats up with me these days. each time i got home, this is the only thing i have to think of. sooner or later, i would be a dumbass in school thinking of a solution because today, i just did became one. ugh. whatever it is, i just hope for the best.
PS: ashidiq, if you have anything to say, please please please, through msn. thanks. :S
oh btw, happy 11th birthday beloved brother. be happy always & go on diet. go go matiin! you can do it. :D
Labels: happy birthday (:
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Written on Thursday, May 15, 2008 @ 3:00 PM
heyy. met, boyfy just now. reached home at 3.30+ pm(?).i got my results today. & i am so shocked. my malay actually flopped hell lots! what happen to me?
green means pass. red means fail.
English - 75/100
Maths - 40/100 (dont talk about it. paper 2 was hell hard. im dead serious. paper 1, passed)
History - 31/65 (which is 1.5m more to just passing! asshole. i studied this like theres no tmr!)
Geography - 64/100 (which i didn't even study & was damn weak at it. but, miracles :D)
Science - 51/100 (bad or what? i studied science like hell!)
MT - 49/100 (don't talk about it. i, myself, am freaked out!)
Home Econs - not yet
Art - 56/100 (:D)
oh, im so sick. i don't know how to lie to myself. i can't keep this feeling inside. but, i am also afraid to break it out. so how? for the pass few days. or maybe weeks. i have been thinking of stuffs. right here, im making a decision. but, i dont know if that person would face the fact.
its just not right. someday, somehow i gotta tell this to em. i certainly don't hate em. he/she is a nice person. & im not making a fool out of em. i swear, i am not that type. ok, i have to tell it to em. i know. but, for sure, not straight to the face cause its gonna break his/her heart, i guess. its like one-sided love. i don't know what to do.
do you really wanna know why i was in a bad mood?
seriously, its not because i was neglecting or avoiding you. man, i was really in a bad mood.
firstly when i got home, brother actually pissed me off. & for some reason, i went ballistic. what a nuisance. & for that, i got permission from ibu. but, brother was too spoiled by grandparents, they actually accused me of stuffs & called me a bad bad girl. which i don't accept. hey hello. everyone has their good & bad attitudes. you have no right to actually say im bad. because, you are equally the same! mind me. i am like that.
after that, something came up to my mind. then, i got so restless. so so restless, i cried. well, now i realised that my heart is not strong enough to love someone. i get easily in love & dumped. oh, how sad. how so sad. so lethargic, right? i know, this is me when it comes to love. so back to the crying part. i was sitting in front of the computer, thinking of a solution to this problem. but seriously, my mind went blank. it have been blank for the pass 2 days, i guess. & its so dump of me. then, kak ekah came into the picture & asked me to hang out with her a while. well, i got a bit delighted but i just wanna be alone. i just forced myself out the door & dragged my legs to her house. well, at least she cheered me up.
i came back home around 4.30 pm after that. then, my mind went blank again. & all i have to think of was a solution. damn it. i got back home & had a small argument with sister. at that moment, i just feel like throwing all the anger inside me to someone. just someone. i really dont know whats up with me these days. each time i got home, this is the only thing i have to think of. sooner or later, i would be a dumbass in school thinking of a solution because today, i just did became one. ugh. whatever it is, i just hope for the best.
PS: ashidiq, if you have anything to say, please please please, through msn. thanks. :S
oh btw, happy 11th birthday beloved brother. be happy always & go on diet. go go matiin! you can do it. :D
Labels: happy birthday (:
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In random order.
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Hello human beings. My name is Illa Syakilah and I am not a terrorist.
Hehe. I can't seem to get over that quote since I watched the movie "My name is Khan."
I am coming sixteen this July 25 and I'm seriously not excited.
I'll be sitting for my GCE N Levels this year, and hopefully (very little chance, though) I'll qualify for Sec 5.
Maybe for now, you'll have fun teasing me but keep in mind that everyone has limits. And don't ever think of going over mine.
I am single and I don't wish to be unavailable because I believe that love comes naturally when it's the right time.
Honestly, since the last time I ever got into a relationship, I realised that I'm kinda lethargic when it comes to love but whatever.
The right one will fall not only for my perfection but also my flaws, right? Yeah :D
My interest lies in Performing Arts. I have been dancing for close to 10 years and damn it, I want to learn more!
When I'm feeling down or high, this is basically what I'd do. Just that when I'm down, I don't do it in public.
I dance for Purbanira Seni (my school Malay Dance troupe) and Sri Warisan Som Said Performing Arts Ltd.
I'm not a professional YET. But one day, I'll be an awesome one. Yes ah! I have yet to cover contemporary and such. Heh.
I get dance routines from boredom or imagination. I'd literally think of steps in my head and when I'm done, I'd work it out with my body.
Sometimes, I'd dance randomly and I'll get steps. Basically, I love everything that has got to do with Performing Arts.
I miss Indian dancing when I was in Kindergarten. Oh, that makes it 11 years of dancing! Hehe.
I'm not shy to say that my favorite place that has ever existed is.. my bed. I'm not the only one right?
I love to hang out but this year, I kinda find it hard to even make time for my friends! I love Glee. It's so cool.
My favorite boyfriend is Percy Jackson AKA Logan Lerman. Yes! I love him. Haha. Justin Bieber, his voice makes me melt.
Megan Fox, Beyonce, Kara Dioguardi, Kelly Clarkson, Nicole Scherzinger, Jojo, Selena Gomez, Katy Perry, Jessica Alba & more. These are the people who never fail to make me love them.
Thank you for bothering to read, if you actually did, that is.
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