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Written on Friday, May 8, 2009 @ 12:14 AM
After confessing to each other last night, 6 May 2009 at 11:11PM, we felt totally relieved. At the same time, we were feeling fucking nervous. I was like, "Damn it, how am I gonna face him tomorrow?" And he was like, "Kay, honestly I don't know how to look at you tomorrow. I'll faint for sure. Damn."
He almost didn't come to school today because he don't want me to be shy. Haha. Stupid reason. When he came to school, I can feel the awkwardness. I swear man. My cheeks started to blush. My hands started to sweat like fuck. And I got butterflies in my stomach.
Kay, we didn't talk to each other like how we used to. Seriously. That's the sad part. But the good thing is that it is reasonable. I can't even talk to him! I don't know why. Haha. But I still got my pooh ^^ Thank you gemooookkkkkk !~
During break, Marissa and I stayed in class. Then suddenly, I felt the urge to flip through his foolscap. And I read. It was so sad I tell you. It makes me feel guilty for not talking to him. He thinks I hate him. He thinks he ruined my life. He thinks I'm sad about this. And he thinks I am not going out with him on his birthday. Marissa, always being the sweet one, told me to write him a letter. So, she assisted me when I wrote it. Heh. Illa, your so pathetic.
When he read the letter, I can see he felt even more shy. So, I felt twice as shy. Fool. Haha. Then, I received a text from him. He didn't admit it was him who wrote it. When he knows I recognised his handwriting & language so well. Don't lie to me. I know your face when you are about to lie. Okay? Good. (:
That's one advantage of falling in like with your bestfriend. You know too much about each other, you can't lie. Haha. Too bad.
Towards the end, we finally talked like normal bestfriends. Haha. And, I will go out with you for your birthday. But if I have a last minute cancellation, I promise, I'll make it up for you.
Chiows~
Xoxo.
Labels: another day
Written on Monday, December 15, 2008 @ 9:33 AM
If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all
Now I realise, that every morning I wake up, I'd be eager to do something. Each time I am given time to think, I'd be thinking about the same old thing. It may sound like I am happy, but it freaking creeps me out. Why? Because it all started yesterday, when they teased me. In a good way. I feel so, "No, I'm not suppose to feel this way". Yes, I feel that way. & if she feels the same way, (only thing, she only have a little feelings towards this thing & I have greater feelings towards this thing) I can't feel the same way too. Oh, don't you people understand what I'm tryna' say? Daaaamn, I'm lost - again.
Each time I do something, I will go, "Damn, where's this thing?". No, I can't do this. This is all unexpected. Totally. I am supposed to think about the other one. & each time I see this thing, I would be so fcking excited. & each time it went missing I would wait for it to appear in front of my eyes.
You people shouldn't have teased me earlier. Now you see, what's happening? I am 100% sure my mom wont accept this. I cannot feel this waaaaaay! Tsk.
happy 19th monthsarry kakak & shahrezal ;D
happy ___th/nd/rd mthsarry to isyah & afiq ;D
Labels: another day
Written on Monday, November 10, 2008 @ 12:07 AM
jengjengjeng! not missing in action ehh. just that, i have been busy lately. schedule's tight. malay dance, weddings, outings, friends, phonecalls & ________. luckily, i have no boyfriend. I think i would collapse if i were to have one. how to spent my time with him with all these ________? hah.
but the best thing was, i had ice cream & chicken baked rice at swensens yesterday night. the joy & laughter shared among us, i just missed that. i mean, if it was more complete, it would be nice (:
on the friday, last friday, family + the 2 most irritating/fun/favourite uncles (they're not so old, just 21-22, but still we have to call them uncle because they're ayah's friends), catched The Coffin. Stupid/Funny/Clumsy/Embarassing stuffs happened in between. Cik Hafiz wanted to demonstrate how he would look like when he shout (he's a big baby, scared of everything), the moment he do the demo, the popcorn fell off his lap. & everybody behind us stand up to have a good laugh at him. even us. hahahahah. then, after the movie, when we were going down the stairs, sister tripped. TWO times some more. haha. funny or what? another one was, we all had to walk 2-3 rounds just to find our car! shoot. stupid siol. hahahahah.
today, went to a wedding just few blocks away. near matiin's school. noticed that today, there's a lot of weddings going on. sister said NINE is a very common wedding date. & on the other hand, i got quite sad because of something. you people, if you read my blog often, you'd know. heeee. kay, came back home around 5 PM (?) & because i didn't have enough sleep i got very very tired & 'fainted'. woke up around 7 PM (?). haha. so now, i have to face Insomnia. & tmr, i'll have to dance like a zombie in the dance studio. hahaha.
NOURA, CALL EITHER MY HOME NUMBER OR HANDPHONE NUMBER ONCE YOU READ THIS, THANK YOU.
im damn bored. currently, chatting with nadhir, fiq jai & boiimii. but i wanna go offline & join sis outside. WATCH TV uh, ape lagi? fiq jai's muting, nadhir's crapping & boiimii's boring. grr. toodles babies.Labels: another day
Written on Sunday, October 19, 2008 @ 12:46 AM
Been there, done that.
Life's full of ups & downs. Well, mostly ups for lucky people. But it seems that my life is more to the downs. Damn it. Problems after problems. When will it stop? I hate it, alot. Why can't people trust me? I'm I that dishonest? Whatever.
All I know is that I do take the time to think wisely. Hello, I am not peanut-brained, ok. So, stop looking down on me like that. I have got brains to think. Please la, I never had the intention of doing any of that stuffs. Even though I see people do it. I know how to lead a GOOD life. I know how to take care of myself. Although you said that you lectured me because you love me, I think thats not a good way. Maybe thats the reason why Cik Maya turned out hanyut/wild.
If I am being lectured, why not my sister? Everybody pointed their fingers on me, what have I done wrong? Did I ever get pregnant? Did I even have sex? NO.
I really do appreciate those warnings. But I don't need a lecture. I'm a big girl. I can think. You see, elderlies said that watching too much television for kids will damage your brain, I think that they watch to much Teenagers Nowadays Stories (eg. Crime Watch, PG, etc.) that they think too negatively about their child/grandchild.
I am not trying to say that I am lacking of love & attention. But you all dont seem to understand me. I never had the intention to even pierce my tongue, eyebrows, etc.. Or worse, tattoo. Get this straight, I won't even do any of that. Promise. If everyone keeps on being like this, don't you think they would feel useless until they do what they think they would? I can be lectured but once in a while. It seems like everywhere I go, I got the lecture. Your pressuring me. Do you want me to be like what your thinking of me right now? Negatively. I suppose, not. Please, I can assure you that I won't do any of these unless you stop thinking negative about others.
You gave other friend's child of yours encouragements to do whatever they want, to live the life the yearned for. But what would we, your daughters, feel? I can't take this anymore.Labels: another day
Written on Saturday, August 30, 2008 @ 5:35 PM
I had an awesome day ystd. I was really being supportive. I shouted, "Go Noura, Go Fahmi, Go Irsyad, Go Atiqa!" ahaaa. cool uh. all by myself.
after school, planned to go out with ex-schoolmates. but, lazy uh. instead i went to Pizza Hut to have lunch with friends. Pictures can't be uploaded because i didn't get the pictures from Shaffy & Naz yet. Korang, lincah uh send. hhes. then, after lunch went for windows shopping & both yanti & noura went missing. we searched but no sign. so, went to open plaza & camwhored the whole day there. had so much fun. one by one kene sound dgn laki. haha. went to windows shopping again & at last found yanti & noura. but we were exhausted. so planned to walk off & go our different ways. boarded 293 with Shaffy, Effah & myself. Effah took he leave first. followed by me & ended with shaffy. everybody had our laughs. & we planned to do this often next time. yay!
short post uh? i really don't know what to write. speechless uh. today, accompanied kak fee to popular to buy her chemistry book . Syahir & amirul tagged along. met ari to take Kak fee's book after that. then, met up with Kak J. we were late. sorry kak J. 4:35, Kak fee, amirul & myself went home. Amirul went to Kak fee's & i went home. so, here i am. getting ready to go geylang with family. monday fasting! yay. haha. love ya'll.Labels: another day
Written on Wednesday, July 30, 2008 @ 2:46 AM
 hello people, today's horrible. i got into a fight during recess. & almost everyone in the school hear me shout. even i am shocked. i didn't know i was shouting so loudly. everybody looked. but, i was to angry to even bother. boyfee was there to calm me down. gretchen too. thanks.
i appreciate those who support me. & i think they are the 2N1 chinese people. really. ain't joking around. i feel lazy to say whatever i did today. after school, went to macs to eat. then around 2.50pm, we went back to school for malay dance. finished at 5.30+pm. im sorry i didn't call you boyfee. i was having a heavy headache. the dance includes turning around like a spinning top (: but i liked the dance. it was a mixture of the different culture for national day. there was, indian, chinese & malay dance in it. but all performed by the malay dancers. yay us!
really, i've got nothing to say. reached home at 6. less than 5 mins, tutor came. so, theres no rest in between. after that, did homework & fell asleep. wanted to call boyfee but having headahe. as i have mentioned earlier. when i checked my phone, an unknown number called me 8 times, followed by ________. guess. i can't tell. because if i do, there will be misunderstandings.
ade ke u call me sombong? eh hello. u more sombong ok. ahaaa. sorry didnt pick up or reply. was sleeping uh. next time next time.
got four messages. 2 from boyfee. one from singtel. another one from _______. its the same person. i wont tell you the gender, i wont tell u the name. because its all not for you to know. hhes. ok, i think im done. but i have a message for adilah.
adilah, aku bukan nk besarbesarkan hal ni. but the way u react, it makes me fed up. da lame aku simpan & bersabar terhadap kau. tpi, kalau kau continue. i dont think i can stand it anymore. what the hell for? have i ever, in your life, in my life, maki kau? pernah? the most u can say is, stop. or maybe just make a small argument. tdi, aku memang tk berniat nk tengking kau. tapi, aku tanye kau skg. sape yg tinggitinggi kan badan? sape yg step big fcuk? kau kan? serious shit man. i was damn keeping it low, when u start to raise your voice little by little. so, i start the ball rolling uh. since u want it that way. kau ckp, kau tk goyang, tk gerak whatsoever shit laa ehh. abe aku ni takot uh kirekan? da uh. stop it uh. nk masok kan makbapak sume tk perlu uh. bukan aku takot uh. tapi, if u were to report about it, its all u fault. because i have never insulted u before. in fact, aku nk lebih rapat dengan kau so aku boleh tlg kau. think uh before kau marah. kau pikir time tu aku tk marah pe bile kau simbah air? aku marah siol. kau sabar je. aku tau kalau aku mrh, aku spoil the fun. aku play along sia. abe kau? ade? kau ckp je kau basahkan rambot aku je. aku tau laa mane kau simbah. badan aku pee. come on uh, kau da sec 2 siol. same same sec 2. umor same pee? nk step tuk pe kan? gado pon, nak complain. ape lagi? bile kau da besar, kau da kahwin, da ade anak. anak kau buat hal, kau complain mak bapak kau? lau laki kau tengking kau nk complain? irritating sia. ur parents cant be there for u 24/7. why can't u be independent & stand up for yourself? asal mesti, ade problem, cnfm mak bapak kau ade. kalau gitu, aku pon oleh. aku tkkn slow talk sia dgn kau lau memang aku nk pggl makbapak aku. aku tros pggl drg turon sia gitu. so, please ehh. nk marah marah. tpi, ingat. there's a limit to everything. & without u realising it, u have gone across mine.
salam sayang,
illa ♥
Labels: another day
Written on Saturday, May 3, 2008 @ 12:43 PM
oh god. help me. i feel so.. bad. how do i tell him, i hate him? i dont want to be his girlfriend. but he's so extremely nice towards me. well, i dont hate him. each & everyday, since he knew me, he kept on saying, i love you, when i ask why, he will just say, feelings just come & it is still getting heavier. i dont hate him, i just dont have feelings for him. he just cant understand. or perhaps im too young for a serious relationship. everyday, he waited for me to tell him something he wanted to hear. but, i ditched him away. im really truly sorry. but, i dont wanna lose our friendship.
i can't keep this feeling no more. sooner or later; i gotta tell him bout this. im just nervous about how it will turn out. did i make a wise decision? come on illa. you got to gather all your guts & tell him. you can't hide this feeling anymore. let it break free. i gotta do this. no matter what happens. good or bad; this is the only solution. im sorry.Labels: another day
Written on Friday, April 18, 2008 @ 3:51 PM
TAKE NOTE: The underlined and star* sentences would be clearly
explained & told under "TRAGIC TRAGIC" .. so read -- if u wanna know !
yeah . after school .. i helped out the PSLs again . its fun its fun . & tomorrow, the school will be released at 1045 ! take note: 1045 ! yaaay (: so, theres only 3-4 subjects . i only rmbr 2 of them; PE & HOMEC ! my 2 favourites . after homec, maybe meeting aidil, boyfriend dearest, abang angkat dearest & amirul . well, they wanna reunite . but too bad, atiqa wants to be out* . then after that going back home for awhile to freshen up & stuffs . by 3, back to school to help mdm humaiya & cikgu alimah at the reception . yaay ! fun tau, serious . with smart, full school uniform: neck tie, not-so-short skirt (but still above my knee) -- a must !, not-so-short socks (but still below my ankle) -- also a must ! & no hair-touching eyebrows or shoulders -- bout that i dont give a damn (: oh yess, no necklaces, bracelets, ring, etc. etc.
i just finished one art assignment ! 2 more left & fri is due . which is, OMG -- TODAAAY ! motif is done . left signage & montage . yep . alaaa .. nehmyne, mr mazli would understand . & its kindda annoying when our class keeps on changing art teachers . & im not hoping for mr mazli to become our permanent teacher for art . because he can be both animal trainer & school teacher . which i've seen before . quite scary, i admit . but, he never nagged at me before . he's quite an insulting teacher . he would purposely say the wrong name . eg. "u indian right?" when actually hifzhan's a malay boy . he knows . we told him already . but he keeps on insulting . omg, teacher these days . hhes (: but he's still vair understanding .
TRAGIC TRAGIC !
aidil knows about the breakup now . he is in a very heartbreaking moment . omg, if it was me, i would have already .. ermm, idk what'll happen . on the other hand, i think nazrah's doing quite a great job . but also, a bad one . two reasons . good -- because she have decided not to have any boyfriends at the moment as exams are around the corner . bad -- because the reason is mainly not about what i've said earlier . but, its something else . omg, im being like a reporter nowadays, huh ? awwwh .. im gonna miss that couple . i hope things will get better tomorrow, when aidil come to plead nazrah, nazrah cry, feel touched & all those drama keleng stuffs . i hope nazrah will really change her mind . because aidil is hopelessly in love with nazrah . just like me in love with my boyfriend . & nazrah wants to be out . atiqa; haikal's ex also dont wanna have anything to do with them . thats oh-so sad . but its ok . she's still ok with being friends . which is good enough (:
PS: the reason why i wont reveal his -- my boyfriend -- name is because its not time yet . im afraid his ex will think negative like, "oh .. so he broke up with me for illa ?!!" kindda thing . we will go slowly . btw, his not new . he's just an ex which patched with me . ilovehiim(: alot . Labels: another adventure, another day, another memories, another second, another story
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Written on Friday, May 8, 2009 @ 12:14 AM
After confessing to each other last night, 6 May 2009 at 11:11PM, we felt totally relieved. At the same time, we were feeling fucking nervous. I was like, "Damn it, how am I gonna face him tomorrow?" And he was like, "Kay, honestly I don't know how to look at you tomorrow. I'll faint for sure. Damn."
He almost didn't come to school today because he don't want me to be shy. Haha. Stupid reason. When he came to school, I can feel the awkwardness. I swear man. My cheeks started to blush. My hands started to sweat like fuck. And I got butterflies in my stomach.
Kay, we didn't talk to each other like how we used to. Seriously. That's the sad part. But the good thing is that it is reasonable. I can't even talk to him! I don't know why. Haha. But I still got my pooh ^^ Thank you gemooookkkkkk !~
During break, Marissa and I stayed in class. Then suddenly, I felt the urge to flip through his foolscap. And I read. It was so sad I tell you. It makes me feel guilty for not talking to him. He thinks I hate him. He thinks he ruined my life. He thinks I'm sad about this. And he thinks I am not going out with him on his birthday. Marissa, always being the sweet one, told me to write him a letter. So, she assisted me when I wrote it. Heh. Illa, your so pathetic.
When he read the letter, I can see he felt even more shy. So, I felt twice as shy. Fool. Haha. Then, I received a text from him. He didn't admit it was him who wrote it. When he knows I recognised his handwriting & language so well. Don't lie to me. I know your face when you are about to lie. Okay? Good. (:
That's one advantage of falling in like with your bestfriend. You know too much about each other, you can't lie. Haha. Too bad.
Towards the end, we finally talked like normal bestfriends. Haha. And, I will go out with you for your birthday. But if I have a last minute cancellation, I promise, I'll make it up for you.
Chiows~
Xoxo.
Labels: another day
Written on Monday, December 15, 2008 @ 9:33 AM
If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all
Now I realise, that every morning I wake up, I'd be eager to do something. Each time I am given time to think, I'd be thinking about the same old thing. It may sound like I am happy, but it freaking creeps me out. Why? Because it all started yesterday, when they teased me. In a good way. I feel so, "No, I'm not suppose to feel this way". Yes, I feel that way. & if she feels the same way, (only thing, she only have a little feelings towards this thing & I have greater feelings towards this thing) I can't feel the same way too. Oh, don't you people understand what I'm tryna' say? Daaaamn, I'm lost - again.
Each time I do something, I will go, "Damn, where's this thing?". No, I can't do this. This is all unexpected. Totally. I am supposed to think about the other one. & each time I see this thing, I would be so fcking excited. & each time it went missing I would wait for it to appear in front of my eyes.
You people shouldn't have teased me earlier. Now you see, what's happening? I am 100% sure my mom wont accept this. I cannot feel this waaaaaay! Tsk.
happy 19th monthsarry kakak & shahrezal ;D
happy ___th/nd/rd mthsarry to isyah & afiq ;D
Labels: another day
Written on Monday, November 10, 2008 @ 12:07 AM
jengjengjeng! not missing in action ehh. just that, i have been busy lately. schedule's tight. malay dance, weddings, outings, friends, phonecalls & ________. luckily, i have no boyfriend. I think i would collapse if i were to have one. how to spent my time with him with all these ________? hah.
but the best thing was, i had ice cream & chicken baked rice at swensens yesterday night. the joy & laughter shared among us, i just missed that. i mean, if it was more complete, it would be nice (:
on the friday, last friday, family + the 2 most irritating/fun/favourite uncles (they're not so old, just 21-22, but still we have to call them uncle because they're ayah's friends), catched The Coffin. Stupid/Funny/Clumsy/Embarassing stuffs happened in between. Cik Hafiz wanted to demonstrate how he would look like when he shout (he's a big baby, scared of everything), the moment he do the demo, the popcorn fell off his lap. & everybody behind us stand up to have a good laugh at him. even us. hahahahah. then, after the movie, when we were going down the stairs, sister tripped. TWO times some more. haha. funny or what? another one was, we all had to walk 2-3 rounds just to find our car! shoot. stupid siol. hahahahah.
today, went to a wedding just few blocks away. near matiin's school. noticed that today, there's a lot of weddings going on. sister said NINE is a very common wedding date. & on the other hand, i got quite sad because of something. you people, if you read my blog often, you'd know. heeee. kay, came back home around 5 PM (?) & because i didn't have enough sleep i got very very tired & 'fainted'. woke up around 7 PM (?). haha. so now, i have to face Insomnia. & tmr, i'll have to dance like a zombie in the dance studio. hahaha.
NOURA, CALL EITHER MY HOME NUMBER OR HANDPHONE NUMBER ONCE YOU READ THIS, THANK YOU.
im damn bored. currently, chatting with nadhir, fiq jai & boiimii. but i wanna go offline & join sis outside. WATCH TV uh, ape lagi? fiq jai's muting, nadhir's crapping & boiimii's boring. grr. toodles babies.Labels: another day
Written on Sunday, October 19, 2008 @ 12:46 AM
Been there, done that.
Life's full of ups & downs. Well, mostly ups for lucky people. But it seems that my life is more to the downs. Damn it. Problems after problems. When will it stop? I hate it, alot. Why can't people trust me? I'm I that dishonest? Whatever.
All I know is that I do take the time to think wisely. Hello, I am not peanut-brained, ok. So, stop looking down on me like that. I have got brains to think. Please la, I never had the intention of doing any of that stuffs. Even though I see people do it. I know how to lead a GOOD life. I know how to take care of myself. Although you said that you lectured me because you love me, I think thats not a good way. Maybe thats the reason why Cik Maya turned out hanyut/wild.
If I am being lectured, why not my sister? Everybody pointed their fingers on me, what have I done wrong? Did I ever get pregnant? Did I even have sex? NO.
I really do appreciate those warnings. But I don't need a lecture. I'm a big girl. I can think. You see, elderlies said that watching too much television for kids will damage your brain, I think that they watch to much Teenagers Nowadays Stories (eg. Crime Watch, PG, etc.) that they think too negatively about their child/grandchild.
I am not trying to say that I am lacking of love & attention. But you all dont seem to understand me. I never had the intention to even pierce my tongue, eyebrows, etc.. Or worse, tattoo. Get this straight, I won't even do any of that. Promise. If everyone keeps on being like this, don't you think they would feel useless until they do what they think they would? I can be lectured but once in a while. It seems like everywhere I go, I got the lecture. Your pressuring me. Do you want me to be like what your thinking of me right now? Negatively. I suppose, not. Please, I can assure you that I won't do any of these unless you stop thinking negative about others.
You gave other friend's child of yours encouragements to do whatever they want, to live the life the yearned for. But what would we, your daughters, feel? I can't take this anymore.Labels: another day
Written on Saturday, August 30, 2008 @ 5:35 PM
I had an awesome day ystd. I was really being supportive. I shouted, "Go Noura, Go Fahmi, Go Irsyad, Go Atiqa!" ahaaa. cool uh. all by myself.
after school, planned to go out with ex-schoolmates. but, lazy uh. instead i went to Pizza Hut to have lunch with friends. Pictures can't be uploaded because i didn't get the pictures from Shaffy & Naz yet. Korang, lincah uh send. hhes. then, after lunch went for windows shopping & both yanti & noura went missing. we searched but no sign. so, went to open plaza & camwhored the whole day there. had so much fun. one by one kene sound dgn laki. haha. went to windows shopping again & at last found yanti & noura. but we were exhausted. so planned to walk off & go our different ways. boarded 293 with Shaffy, Effah & myself. Effah took he leave first. followed by me & ended with shaffy. everybody had our laughs. & we planned to do this often next time. yay!
short post uh? i really don't know what to write. speechless uh. today, accompanied kak fee to popular to buy her chemistry book . Syahir & amirul tagged along. met ari to take Kak fee's book after that. then, met up with Kak J. we were late. sorry kak J. 4:35, Kak fee, amirul & myself went home. Amirul went to Kak fee's & i went home. so, here i am. getting ready to go geylang with family. monday fasting! yay. haha. love ya'll.Labels: another day
Written on Wednesday, July 30, 2008 @ 2:46 AM
hello people, today's horrible. i got into a fight during recess. & almost everyone in the school hear me shout. even i am shocked. i didn't know i was shouting so loudly. everybody looked. but, i was to angry to even bother. boyfee was there to calm me down. gretchen too. thanks.
i appreciate those who support me. & i think they are the 2N1 chinese people. really. ain't joking around. i feel lazy to say whatever i did today. after school, went to macs to eat. then around 2.50pm, we went back to school for malay dance. finished at 5.30+pm. im sorry i didn't call you boyfee. i was having a heavy headache. the dance includes turning around like a spinning top (: but i liked the dance. it was a mixture of the different culture for national day. there was, indian, chinese & malay dance in it. but all performed by the malay dancers. yay us!
really, i've got nothing to say. reached home at 6. less than 5 mins, tutor came. so, theres no rest in between. after that, did homework & fell asleep. wanted to call boyfee but having headahe. as i have mentioned earlier. when i checked my phone, an unknown number called me 8 times, followed by ________. guess. i can't tell. because if i do, there will be misunderstandings.
ade ke u call me sombong? eh hello. u more sombong ok. ahaaa. sorry didnt pick up or reply. was sleeping uh. next time next time.
got four messages. 2 from boyfee. one from singtel. another one from _______. its the same person. i wont tell you the gender, i wont tell u the name. because its all not for you to know. hhes. ok, i think im done. but i have a message for adilah.
adilah, aku bukan nk besarbesarkan hal ni. but the way u react, it makes me fed up. da lame aku simpan & bersabar terhadap kau. tpi, kalau kau continue. i dont think i can stand it anymore. what the hell for? have i ever, in your life, in my life, maki kau? pernah? the most u can say is, stop. or maybe just make a small argument. tdi, aku memang tk berniat nk tengking kau. tapi, aku tanye kau skg. sape yg tinggitinggi kan badan? sape yg step big fcuk? kau kan? serious shit man. i was damn keeping it low, when u start to raise your voice little by little. so, i start the ball rolling uh. since u want it that way. kau ckp, kau tk goyang, tk gerak whatsoever shit laa ehh. abe aku ni takot uh kirekan? da uh. stop it uh. nk masok kan makbapak sume tk perlu uh. bukan aku takot uh. tapi, if u were to report about it, its all u fault. because i have never insulted u before. in fact, aku nk lebih rapat dengan kau so aku boleh tlg kau. think uh before kau marah. kau pikir time tu aku tk marah pe bile kau simbah air? aku marah siol. kau sabar je. aku tau kalau aku mrh, aku spoil the fun. aku play along sia. abe kau? ade? kau ckp je kau basahkan rambot aku je. aku tau laa mane kau simbah. badan aku pee. come on uh, kau da sec 2 siol. same same sec 2. umor same pee? nk step tuk pe kan? gado pon, nak complain. ape lagi? bile kau da besar, kau da kahwin, da ade anak. anak kau buat hal, kau complain mak bapak kau? lau laki kau tengking kau nk complain? irritating sia. ur parents cant be there for u 24/7. why can't u be independent & stand up for yourself? asal mesti, ade problem, cnfm mak bapak kau ade. kalau gitu, aku pon oleh. aku tkkn slow talk sia dgn kau lau memang aku nk pggl makbapak aku. aku tros pggl drg turon sia gitu. so, please ehh. nk marah marah. tpi, ingat. there's a limit to everything. & without u realising it, u have gone across mine.
salam sayang,
illa ♥
Labels: another day
Written on Saturday, May 3, 2008 @ 12:43 PM
oh god. help me. i feel so.. bad. how do i tell him, i hate him? i dont want to be his girlfriend. but he's so extremely nice towards me. well, i dont hate him. each & everyday, since he knew me, he kept on saying, i love you, when i ask why, he will just say, feelings just come & it is still getting heavier. i dont hate him, i just dont have feelings for him. he just cant understand. or perhaps im too young for a serious relationship. everyday, he waited for me to tell him something he wanted to hear. but, i ditched him away. im really truly sorry. but, i dont wanna lose our friendship.
i can't keep this feeling no more. sooner or later; i gotta tell him bout this. im just nervous about how it will turn out. did i make a wise decision? come on illa. you got to gather all your guts & tell him. you can't hide this feeling anymore. let it break free. i gotta do this. no matter what happens. good or bad; this is the only solution. im sorry.Labels: another day
Written on Friday, April 18, 2008 @ 3:51 PM
TAKE NOTE: The underlined and star* sentences would be clearly
explained & told under "TRAGIC TRAGIC" .. so read -- if u wanna know !
yeah . after school .. i helped out the PSLs again . its fun its fun . & tomorrow, the school will be released at 1045 ! take note: 1045 ! yaaay (: so, theres only 3-4 subjects . i only rmbr 2 of them; PE & HOMEC ! my 2 favourites . after homec, maybe meeting aidil, boyfriend dearest, abang angkat dearest & amirul . well, they wanna reunite . but too bad, atiqa wants to be out* . then after that going back home for awhile to freshen up & stuffs . by 3, back to school to help mdm humaiya & cikgu alimah at the reception . yaay ! fun tau, serious . with smart, full school uniform: neck tie, not-so-short skirt (but still above my knee) -- a must !, not-so-short socks (but still below my ankle) -- also a must ! & no hair-touching eyebrows or shoulders -- bout that i dont give a damn (: oh yess, no necklaces, bracelets, ring, etc. etc.
i just finished one art assignment ! 2 more left & fri is due . which is, OMG -- TODAAAY ! motif is done . left signage & montage . yep . alaaa .. nehmyne, mr mazli would understand . & its kindda annoying when our class keeps on changing art teachers . & im not hoping for mr mazli to become our permanent teacher for art . because he can be both animal trainer & school teacher . which i've seen before . quite scary, i admit . but, he never nagged at me before . he's quite an insulting teacher . he would purposely say the wrong name . eg. "u indian right?" when actually hifzhan's a malay boy . he knows . we told him already . but he keeps on insulting . omg, teacher these days . hhes (: but he's still vair understanding .
TRAGIC TRAGIC !
aidil knows about the breakup now . he is in a very heartbreaking moment . omg, if it was me, i would have already .. ermm, idk what'll happen . on the other hand, i think nazrah's doing quite a great job . but also, a bad one . two reasons . good -- because she have decided not to have any boyfriends at the moment as exams are around the corner . bad -- because the reason is mainly not about what i've said earlier . but, its something else . omg, im being like a reporter nowadays, huh ? awwwh .. im gonna miss that couple . i hope things will get better tomorrow, when aidil come to plead nazrah, nazrah cry, feel touched & all those drama keleng stuffs . i hope nazrah will really change her mind . because aidil is hopelessly in love with nazrah . just like me in love with my boyfriend . & nazrah wants to be out . atiqa; haikal's ex also dont wanna have anything to do with them . thats oh-so sad . but its ok . she's still ok with being friends . which is good enough (:
PS: the reason why i wont reveal his -- my boyfriend -- name is because its not time yet . im afraid his ex will think negative like, "oh .. so he broke up with me for illa ?!!" kindda thing . we will go slowly . btw, his not new . he's just an ex which patched with me . ilovehiim(: alot . Labels: another adventure, another day, another memories, another second, another story
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In random order.
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Hello human beings. My name is Illa Syakilah and I am not a terrorist.
Hehe. I can't seem to get over that quote since I watched the movie "My name is Khan."
I am coming sixteen this July 25 and I'm seriously not excited.
I'll be sitting for my GCE N Levels this year, and hopefully (very little chance, though) I'll qualify for Sec 5.
Maybe for now, you'll have fun teasing me but keep in mind that everyone has limits. And don't ever think of going over mine.
I am single and I don't wish to be unavailable because I believe that love comes naturally when it's the right time.
Honestly, since the last time I ever got into a relationship, I realised that I'm kinda lethargic when it comes to love but whatever.
The right one will fall not only for my perfection but also my flaws, right? Yeah :D
My interest lies in Performing Arts. I have been dancing for close to 10 years and damn it, I want to learn more!
When I'm feeling down or high, this is basically what I'd do. Just that when I'm down, I don't do it in public.
I dance for Purbanira Seni (my school Malay Dance troupe) and Sri Warisan Som Said Performing Arts Ltd.
I'm not a professional YET. But one day, I'll be an awesome one. Yes ah! I have yet to cover contemporary and such. Heh.
I get dance routines from boredom or imagination. I'd literally think of steps in my head and when I'm done, I'd work it out with my body.
Sometimes, I'd dance randomly and I'll get steps. Basically, I love everything that has got to do with Performing Arts.
I miss Indian dancing when I was in Kindergarten. Oh, that makes it 11 years of dancing! Hehe.
I'm not shy to say that my favorite place that has ever existed is.. my bed. I'm not the only one right?
I love to hang out but this year, I kinda find it hard to even make time for my friends! I love Glee. It's so cool.
My favorite boyfriend is Percy Jackson AKA Logan Lerman. Yes! I love him. Haha. Justin Bieber, his voice makes me melt.
Megan Fox, Beyonce, Kara Dioguardi, Kelly Clarkson, Nicole Scherzinger, Jojo, Selena Gomez, Katy Perry, Jessica Alba & more. These are the people who never fail to make me love them.
Thank you for bothering to read, if you actually did, that is.
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Here I am
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
i promise.
I feel like our world's been infected.
Quick Update ♥
It was almost perfect ):
You still are. And I still am.
Let's just hope he'd read this.
Yes, that's true.
I am very exhausted
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hello people, today's horrible. i got into a fight during recess. & almost everyone in the school hear me shout. even i am shocked. i didn't know i was shouting so loudly. everybody looked. but, i was to angry to even bother. boyfee was there to calm me down. gretchen too. thanks.